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Choices

There were some signs

I ignored them

I refused to believe

But I never forget them

Until they are too much to ignore

I have to accept

Things are happening

.

There are 3 choices

But they are not mine to make

So, please choose wisely

I. Beg. You

Please........

Pindah Rumah (Cerita Tahun Lepas)

Laaaaa….dah masuk February 2011 rupanya!

Memula dalam entry ni aku ingat nak cerita serba sedikit pasal things that happened in year 2010. Simply because I think it is important for me to have some records somewhere. But there are some problems.

1) I can’t remember ALL the things that happened.
2) When I start to type a story, ia jadi terlalu panjang. Dasar longwinded. Pastu tu rasa cam tak lengkap kalau tak taruk gambar sekali. Tapi kalau taruk, lagi lah panjangggggg !
3) Terus aku jadi cam tak larat nak type any entry pun.

Sooooo….. I have decided just to select few things that happened in my life in year 2010 and write about it se-longwinded yang aku mahu, dalam entry yang berasingan. Meaning, instead of one entry I will have to have few. Let just hope the momentum tak lari after an entry.

(Sekarang, cuba kira, berapaa banyak perkataan ENTRY yang dah aku type?)

Kita mulakan dengan cerita PINDAH RUMAH

Rumah yang sepatutnya siap November 2009, cuma di beri kunci middle February 2010. Itu pun bila ramai buyer dah kecoh-kecoh kacau developer. Aku pun ikut join online community forum untuk carik geng kasik pressure kat developer. Bila dah dapat kunci, aku hantar surat demand for late delivery penalty. Walau they all cuba mengelak bayar dengan alasan-alasan yang tak berapa nak masuk akal sampai berbulan, aku tak kira. Demand jugak. Akhirnya setelah 6 bulan dapat gak around RM2000. Boleh lah kan daripada tak dapat apa-apa.

Berbalik pada cerita pindah rumah, lepas dapat kunci terus saja we looked for contractor to do some basic works for the house. Sambil-sambil developer rectify defects, we did the ceiling, grille, demolished the original counter top in kitchen, re-positioned pipes in the kitchen, install kitchen cabinet and curtain. No major renovation. Duit tak cukup. Ada aku cerita kat sini.

Acara membasuh rumah

Acara menanam rumput

Aku ambik kesempatan tu mengemas apa yang patut dan membuang apa yang tak perlu kat rumah sewa. Tak sangka begitu banyak sampah yang aku simpan selama ni. Itu pun belum lagi dengan incidents ter-discover barang-barang yang aku sendiri pun tak ingat aku ada. Pasti tukang angkat sampah tu menyumpah-nyumpah tengok plastik sampah yang penuh se-lori tu.

Che Man’s and my family members came to help us. Nasib baik lah they all ni ada. Kalau tak, payah le kami hari tu. On the same day, MIL & SIL cooked and brought lunch after upacara doa selamat. Alhamdullillah. Tak payah aku masak.

Acara angkat barang masuk lori pun bermula....

Kena tunjuk lah barang yang bersepah-sepah. Baru real macam pindah rumah.

My sister made this. So yummy!

The next day, Che Man and I went back to the rented house to clean the house. Walaupun our landlord said tak perlulah basuh rumah, potong rumput bagai, tapi kami rasa tak syok tinggal kan begitu je. Dulu pun rumah kami juga. Ada sedikit sentimental di situ.

Membasuh rumah sewa dengan emosi & gaya sentimental

I enjoyed the unpacking and re arranging things at the new place for few days. Kebetulan sedang menghabiskan balance of last year annual leaves.

I thought things finally settled. But, one night after work, I realized the store room wall and floor were wet. There were rusty water marks on the wall. So we called the maintenance guy to check and they informed us about cracked roof and replaced them. After few days, we came back home and found the same thing happened again. Another maintenance guy came, checked and applied some kind of glue thingy on the roof. After few more days, the room flooded and this time was very bad and we kept calling the supervisor to follow-up on the matter. Finally after few complaints in the online community forum, few checks and repair jobs, the matter finally solved. Boleh solved pulak yek?

Water mark on the wall, from ceiling in our store room

Don’t have to worry about the house anymore, we thought. WRONG!

Aiman started behaving weirdly in the house. He said something about ‘takut’, ‘ hantu’, ‘ apa tu ibu?’, TV that switch on by itself, etc. It was really an experience for us. I wrote about it here and here.

Ini ceiling dalam master bedroom. Aiman claimed there was 'something' there.

(This photo taken by Aiman using my Hp)

"Aiman tatut......"
Aiman yang kejap-kejap tutup mata dengan tangan

Apapun kami happy that we finally moved into OUR place. Though it just a 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom single-storey terrace house, it symbolizes another level of commitments from Che Man and myself in our relationship as husband, wife and parents. Though we did nothing major with the house, with no new furniture, but at least it is complete with basic necessities for a small family house in a friendly neighborhood.

The house

The small laman. I have no flower plants. Just grass & green plants.

Living and dining area (before we put up some paintings onto the wall)

Same old furniture.

View from dining area, towards kitchen

Doors leading to 2nd, 3rd bedrooms and to dry area.

Kitchen

Aiman's bedroom is yet to be completed. Will be 2011 project.

Maafkan lah Ibu

Malam tadi aku tidur dengan perasaan yang amat bersalah. Bukan rasa bersalah sebab malas nak layan Che Man (walaupun sepatutnya kena rasa bersalah lah) tapi rasa amat bersalah pada si kecik Aiman.

Awal malam tu, keluar opis je dah dekat pukul 9.00malam. Terhegeh-hegeh cuba siapkan kerja yang patutnya aku dah siapkan lama dulu. Tak boleh siap jugak. Akhirnya, packed laptop & notes angkut bawak balik. Lepas dinner, baru lah ke rumah MIL untuk ambil Aiman. Macam biasalah, tak pernahnya sampai, ambil Aiman, terus balik. Mesti duduk duduk dulu borak sikit-sikit dengan MIL sambil belek-belek surat khabar.

Sampai rumah dah pukul dekat 11 malam. Resam ibu berkerja, letak beg terus saja buat kerja-kerja rumah pulak. Angkat kain dari ampaian, masukkan kain kotor dalam washing machine, sedia kan air panas untuk susu aiman, sediakan baju untuk kerja esok, kemas-kemas sinki, etc. Tengah aku kehulu kehilir dalam rumah tu, Aiman stopped me. Kat tangan dia ada daun terup. Daun terup ni aku simpan untuk aku main ‘speed’ dengan Che Man masa kita orang dok boring berdua masa belum ada Aiman dulu. Tah tang mana pulak si Aiman boleh jumpa.

Aiman : Ibu, camna ni bu? Jom main ni Bu. (sambil hulur daun terup)
Aku : Alah… ibu banyak kerja lah. Main sana….
Aiman : Ayah…. Jom tenok tartun (tengok kartun) ayah.
Che Man : Alah….. nantilah!

Terus saja aku ke bilik air untuk mandi pulak. Aku tengok Che Man dah nak tertidur kat sofa dengan seluar kerja dia.

Lepas mandi aku bukak laptop pulak. Panik sikit sebab kerja opis tak siap lagi, mata mengatuk, jam dah nak pukul 12 malam. Aiman sedang mengadap PC sambil tengok DVD Happy Feet. Muka bosan.

Terasa tenguk aku sakit. Rupa-rupanya kau tertidur depan laptop. Aiman pulak sedang menyusun daun terup atas lantai. PC dah tutup. Che Man masih belum bangun.

Aku sambung buat kerja. Half and hour after that, baru Che Man bangun mandi, tukarkan baju Aiman, buat susu dia dan bawa dia masuk tidur. After another half and hour, I went around the house checked pintu, tutup lampu. Ternampak aku daun terup yang Aiman susun atas lantai. Serta merta aku rasa sebak.

Aiman dah semakin berdikari sekarang. Semuanya sebab aku ngan Che man sangat kurang melayan dia on weekdays. Keluar kerja awal pagi, si Aiman belum bangun. Balik lepas 9 malam. Pas tu busy melayan kerja kerja rumah, kerja opis, TV atau melayan penat badan. Kalau Aiman tido awal kekadang terus tak jumpa sampai esok malam nya pulak! Sudahnya si Aiman pun dah pandai buat hal sendiri. Entah sejak bila dia pandai switch on PC and DVD sendiri, pas tu tutup balik tah. Aku pun tak terperasan sampai lah malam tadi.

Bila dia becakap, bertanya soalan, kami cuma menjawab, dengan "emmmm”…., “aaaa.....” , “ye la… ye la…”, dan kadang kadang “diam lah!” .

Dia dah 3 tahun 7 bulan. Aku tak pasti sampai tahap mana anak aku tuh. Pandai ke dia baca ABC sampai Z ? Pandai ke dia mengira 123 sampai 10? Lancar ke lagi dia doa makan? Masih mengaji ke dia dengan nenek? Makan apa dia hari tu? Kemana dia mengekor pakciknya hari ni? Berapa ketinggian dia sekarang? Berapa berat badan dia sekarang? What did he learn today? Lagu apa yang dia sedang nyanyi tu? Mana perginya kaler pensel / pensel / pembaris, buku tulis, etc dia? Gila lama dah tak nampak benda-benda tu sampai aku dah tak ingat. Agaknya dah lama lah dia tak menulis / melukis.

Aku takleh nak kata ni semua jadi sebab aku bekerja. Ramai para ibu yang lain berkerja juga tapi interaksi dengan anak-anak sangat bagus. Ini cuma aku yang mengambil mudah serta mengikut rasa malas.

Apa nak jadi dengan aku ni.

Aiman sayang….. maafkan lah ibu.

12 Weeks

Besides me, my sister in-law and my 2 cousins are pregnant about the same time. One is expected to deliver in February, another in March and another two (including me) in April 2011. Yang paling lewat mungkin aku lah. Tapi perut aku yang paling kedepan sekali. To the other 3, this is their first experience. So, they all jealous lah kan tengok perut mak yang buncit ni – sebab dah boleh pakai maternity blouse.

Ramai pulak yang terkejut bila aku kata aku cuma mengadung 2 bulan (masa raya hari tu). Ramai kata dah macam 4 bulan. Ada yang kata sebab this is second pregnancy, tu lah pasal nampak lebih besar. My cousin teased me about me being pregnant with twins. When my mother menyampuk and said it’s possible coz my grandfather was twins too – well melopong je dengar. Ni lah kali pertama dalam hidup kita orang selama 29 ke 33 tahun, kita orang dengar pasal datuk kita orang kembar! Apparently he had twin sister.

Ada pulak yang cakap kemungkinan aku diabetic, sebab tu perut besar. Macam-macam lah.

Sebab tu aku dok tertunggu-tunggu untuk sesi scan yang pertama minggu lepas. Aku just wanna to know whether or not this is normal. Tapi doctor pulak on emergency call. Tinggal doctor lelaki je. Dah la polici klinik ni, check-check maternity ni dia tak buat, terpaksa tunda. Few days after that, still takleh pergi sebab Che Man asyik tak sempat ambik aku from work. Tension aku menunggu hari scan.

We finally managed to do it on 4th October.

Alhamdullillah. I saw my baby dancing and kicking. For a 12 weeks plus baby (during the last check-up), apparently this one is a bit bigger like 13 weeks 6 days baby. But the doctor wants us to remain with the earlier expected due date which is 10th April 2011.

She cautioned me about my history of breech baby. Breech baby could be due to few factors. Common factors are i) Tulang pelvic sempit & ii) There was a problem during the first pregnancy which was not detected ie: I was diabetic. If the problem due to (i) then, most probably I will have to go through C-section again – which I don’t mind lah. But the thought about (ii) really scary. I googled to find out more on these issues. Some findings sungguh menakutkan. Check this website my dear friends.

.

Anyway, I am here already. I’m planning to really take care and enjoy this journey and do things in better ways as compared to my previous experience. Ye lah, masa tu 1st time. Excited je lebih, ilmu nya kurang.

Hoping for smooth pregnancy & delivery. May Allah be with me. Amin.

.

Salam little one.

Ibu loves you already!

Walau dah Basi, Mesti Kena Cerita

Raya this year kat Nilai, Negeri Sembilan.

Lansung tak dapat ambik gambar Aiman dengan songkok.

Masa beli tu beria. Pakainya 2 saat je.

Bukan main janji ngan mak nak balik kampung pepagi lepas sahur, sehari sebelum raya. Tapi nan-ado. Dah tengahari baru nampak muka. Malam tu sampai rumah lambat sangat. Sampai kul 2 pagi aku cuba habiskan packing (al-maklum packing macam 5 sekeluarga nak balik selama sebulan!). Jalan lansung tak jam. Tepat 1 jam, kami pun sampai. Dah tengahari. Rendang daging mak (yang sangat lazat) dan ketupat nasi dah pun masak. Rendang ayam pulak atas dapur. Tetiba mual aku hilang. Potong ketupat, cedok rendang, tarussss…….. hehehehe. Dah tak puasa, aku makan le tengahari. Jap pas tu adik-adik yang tak habis-habis shopping pun sampai umah.

Sejak dulu malam raya meriah juga dengan takbir dari rumah ke rumah. Orang kampung aku panggil acara ini ‘tokobir’. Tapi malam tu duk senyap je semua orang. Bila aku tanya mak cakap:

“Mak maleh do. Ponek. Kot korang adik beradik nak buek, buek lah”
Eh, takde makna lah kan kami nak buat kalau mak join. So malam tu dok godek-godek bunga, siap barang-barang untuk masak pagi esok, isi-isi kuih raya, kemas sikit-sikit dah le.

Raya ke-1

Kami yang perempuan-perempuan ni biasanya tak pergi sembahyang raya. Orang lelaki je pergi. Kita orang duk dapur siap apa patut. By the time they all balik memasing dah lawa and ready for breakfast. But my father and his grandson has gone to ziarah kubur. This was when my elder sister sort of ‘complained’ that abah did not ‘invite’ us to go with him. My brother in-law terus sound “Dah lebih sepuluh tahun, baru kali ni cakap pasal nak gi kubur?” Haaa…. Kan dah termalu sendiri.

The truth is, since so many years (more than 10 years, I think) menziarahi kubur di pagi raya was never in the agenda. Tak tau kenapa. Cuma abah akan pergi dengan cucu lelaki dia je tiap kali. Ada juga dulu-dulu dia ajak, tapi we all semua tak mau ikut. Naper tah. We all tunggu kat umah dengan tak sabar-sabar sebab nak breakfast together. So this year, lepas breakfast, sesi mohon maaf dah ambik gambar, Abah was surprised when we said he has to go again coz kita orang tak tau kubur sapa kat mana. Sadis tak?

Ada dua kawasan perkuburan. Abah jadi tour guide. Showed us kubur siapa kat mana, bila meninggal dan sebagainya. Apa relationship dia orang dengan kami serta beberapa orang lain yang dah meninggal dan yang masih ada lagi. Baru aku clear sikit pasal relationship yang bercabang-cabang tu. Lagi pun most of hem, kami tak sempat jumpa pun.

.

Sebab aku jakun sangat, aku sempat ambik gambar lagi. Ecehhh.

Balik dari kubur kami simpan balik *ehem* tudung *ehem* pas tu cepat-cepat kunci umah dah berjalan kaki ke rumah uwan. Ni yang best raya kat Nilai. Rumah sedara mara keliling umah je. Kami pakat jalan kaki je reramai dari satu rumah ke satu rumah. Everybody seems to be around this time of raya. Macam pakat-pakat je giliran beraya. Begitu lah dari pagi ke petang sampai ke malam. Tapi bila-bila nak balik rumah, lari je balik – rasa nak ambik barang ke, rasa nak tukar selipar ke, nak sembahyang ke, ada orang nak datang ke, nak ter berak ke, sebab bukan jauh sangat pun.

Raya ke-2
Pagi lepak kat rumah layan tetamu. Petang dan malam beraya rumah yang jauh-jauh sikit. Berkonvoi ngan sedara mara yang lain.

Raya ke-3
My FIL, MIL & BIL came. This time raya they all kena tinggal dek anak & menantu yang lain coz bukan giliran kami di sana. So they went around and visited their anak menantu & besan instead. Bagus plan camni kan?

Raya ke-4
Che Man and I went to visit saudara mara sebelah MIL in Shah Alam and KL. Keluar dari tengahari sampai malam. Aku ni usung camera ke hulu ke hilir, tapi terlupa lansung nak ambik gambar. By this time ipar-ipar aku semua berkumpul semula so ni consider beraya dengan they all lah ni. Tapi pas tu balik Nilai semula.

Raya ke-5
Pergi Melaka pulak. My MIL’s kampung. Beraya pulak dengan sedara mara kat sana. Siap makan ikan bakar kat Umbai lagi. They all decided to stay in Melaka but Che Man and I balik Nilai again.

Raya ke-6
Cadanganya dalam tengahari nak balik Klang. Nak kemas kemas barang-barang ngan kemas umah sekali, tapi dah petang baru sampai. Sampai je dah dekat Mahgrib, jiran sebelah dok tarik-tarik tangan suh singgah umah dia. Kita orang mintak datang lepas mahgrib coz Aiman sedang tido. So, malam tu dapat le kami jenguk rumah jiran sebelah. Raya yang pertama kat kawasan tu.

Raya ke-7
Miscommunication dengan Che Man pasal cuti raya, ntah camna aku boleh ter-start kerja pulak.

After that
We went to few open houses so far. Banyak invitations yang tak dapat nak dipenuhi coz on weekend Che Man busy with work and we had to attend some family events.

We are not going to host open house this year. Mak buyung tak larat nak masak untuk ramai-ramai orang. Tapi kalau ada saki baki open house rumah-rumah korang sila le jemput kami, sebab Che Man dah habis busy dah starting this weekend.

*sambil buat muka tak malu add ikon kelip-kelip mata budget kiut*

Cubaan Aiman untuk mengambil gambar sendiri.

Letak camera atas sofa, tekan shutter, cepat-cepat lari depan camera!

(Tak kuasa aku nak ajar dia guna timer. Cara camni lebih seronok untuk ditonton)

Summary Update eh?

Dear blog… kesian kau lama ber-update! Hehehe. Aku takde alasan. Tak le busy sangat. Cuma mungkin penyakit MAFALASFAS yang menyerang.

By the way, too many things happened & happening. I will just summarize them here.

Aiman Tatut
Things getting better with Aiman after we played the bacaan Quran in the house regularly. Pas tu bulan puasa pulak, lansung takde kesan yang tak diingini. Betul lah setan-setan ni kena tambat semua. Cuma sekarang ni, when we start taking this for granted (ingatkan dah orait 100%), Aiman has started to complain “tatutttttt….” Just few days ago dia dok tunjuk-tunjuk ceiling, mata terbuntang-buntang (like trying hard to see an object in the dim light). Masa tu aku sedikit panik. Dalam hati terpikir, “Nak kena rasuk ke anak aku ni?” Dah lah masa tu Che Man takde. Dalam masa panik tu sempat lagi aku pikir soklan untuk draft action plan:

.

“In case Aiman kena rasuk dek jin laknat malam ni”:
i) Berapa kuat aku kena menjerit untuk kejut kan jiran sebelah?
ii) Sapa yang aku kena telephone?
iii) Perlu ke aku siram air kat dia?
iv) Perlu aku lempang dia?
v) Ayat apa yang aku kena baca?
.

Tapi lepas tu aku goncang-goncang badan dia. When he looked at me, aku sedar dia tak kena rasuk pun. So aku slow talk dengan dia. Try to convince him that he will be ok. Nothing will disturb him. Semangat dia lebih kuat. Dia berani, bla bla bla. Finally Aiman nodded him head and agreed to try to sleep.

I must start to play the CD again.

Pregnancy
One day my boss told me that I looked different. He said I put on weight quite drastically as if I’m pregnant. I told him recently my appetite very good, but I’m not pregnant. He told me he suspects I’m pregnant and I might want to check that.

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Few days after that, Che Man told me he legs cramped so badly the night before. I remember thinking, “That is MY symptom during pregnancy”. Straight away I went to pharmacy and purchased pregnancy test kit. Yada yada yada….. positive!

Ada hari aku mabuk teruk, ada hari tak berapa teruk, ada hari yang ok je. Pelik sikit pregnancy kali ni. Tomorrow is going to be 3 months. But many people commented my tummy is so big for 3-month-pregnant tummy. Some suggested I’ve miss-calculated, some said kembar and some even said I’m diabetic! OMG! Tonight I’m going for 2nd check-up and first scan. Hopefully everything will be fine.

Ramadhan 2010
The first week of Ramadhan aku dok bersungguh-sungguh lah. Walaupun awal pregnancy tapi tenaga baik betul. Berangan nak puasa sebulan. Masa minggu kedua mabuk-mabuk dah start. Not able to eat (walau pun tak puasa), getting up for sahur teman Che Man, forced to reach office at 7.30am, the mual, the muntah, the smell of food from PARAM anf the smell of people around me really bothered me.

So no Ramdhan buffet at hotels for me this year. Only once at BlueWave while assisting a charity event. No point paying so much and not enjoying the food. No PARAM-hoping. In fact the only PARAM I went adalah di PKNS Shah Alam. Tu pun sebab paling dekat ngan tempat kerja. Nasib baik lah some dear friends invited me for iftar at their places or at some restaurants. Soal Terawih lagi lah sedih nya.

In different note, family gathering were often. This maybe nothing for you all. But I know these two persons on perang dingin since so many years. Berkat Ramadhan, they sat side by side for iftar. Hiba sungguh aku. Pas tu, maybe for the first time in my life, I saw them solat berjemaah. Allah Maha Besar. Moga perang dingin yang dah berpuluh tahun tu tamat.


Aidilfitri 2010
I feel a bit better mungkin sebab aku leh mengunyah sikit at anytime bagi melegakan rasa mual. I was hungry all the time so aku makan je walau pun makanan semua rasa tak sedap dan pas tu kekadang muntah balik. But I enjoy the festive mood, the happy faces, the family gatherings, the extended leaves, the raya activities, etc. etc. After that, I missed so many open houses coz Che Man had to work. Same is going to happen this weekend. Anyway, raya deserve a different blog entry, so wait lah yek.

Eh?
Tetiba blank.