After a Year & Half

I felt so nervous when i tried log in into this blog. It has been one and a half year since my last post. I felt so nervous (or it has been too long) that I have already forgotten my password. Then I have to do verification from my e-mail account and..... I also forgot my e-mail password!

I abandon this blog after some personal tragedy. It was difficult to write freely like last time. I also think I abandon this blog because I now could rant via Facebook. 

Or.. I just lost passion in blogging. 

Hari ni hari 13 Ramadan 1436H. Aku suka perasan pada bulan Ramadan. To be honest, I am not talking about anything Islamic. It is something different. Rasa macam aku sedang dilamun cinta. Macam baru semalam declare. Terasa gembira, bahagia dan rindu. Cuma bezanya, perasaan tu entah pada siapa. Just the feeling lebih kurang begitu. Damainya. Yeah. I am weird like that. 

Many things happened since February last year. The biggest and the most unforgettable event was the Umrah trip Che Man & I took together with my sister in-law, her husband and one of their daughters, Icha. It was in March 2015. I did not take many pictures. I do not know why. I just tumpang ambil gambar sana, ambil gambar sini. So, I will collect some and post them here, later.

It was a magical experience. Thank you Allah, murahkan rezeki kami sehingga berjaya menjejakkan kaki ke Madinah & Mekah. Kami juga singgah di Oman. Subhanallah! Alhamdullillah! Baiknya Allah pada kami, considering bertapa tak layaknya kami ni sebenarnya. 

Ok. Nak nangis plak rasanya. More stories about it later. 

I hope I continue to feel like I am in love walaupun dah habis Ramadan nanti. I hope we manage to get everything ready for Raya and happy happy,

So? Selamat mejalankan ibadah puasa dan selamat hari raya. Maaf zahir batin you all. 

    

  

MH370

Ya Allah,

Please show us

... the truth

... the plane

... the hikmah

Ameen

Nikmat Mana Yang Nak Ku Dustakan?

11 Febuari 2013

Alhamdullillah.

Ku rasa takjub pada Allah atas segala dugaanNya.
Ku panjat rasa syukur pada Allah atas segala peluang.
Ku rasa kerdil dengan rancangan Allah yang Maha Besar.
Ku rasa insaf dengan hikmah di sebalik tiap kejadian.

7 Years of togetherness.
Certainly not a bed of rosses.
But things are getting better everyday.

Moga kami terus istiqamah.
Memegang janji, menyulam cinta, memelihara amanahNya.

11 February

I have just confirmed an arrangement for our next year anniversary celebration... sort of. Nothing extravaganza. Just a night away from home to a nearby beach resort. Angkut anak-anak sekali :-)

Memanglah kalau boleh nak go away lama sikit, jauh sikit, carik kelainan sikit. Tapi our anniversary will fall on Chinese New Year with weekend some more prior to the actual date. Boleh dibayangkan betapa jam nya jalan raya utara, selatan, timur & barat. Rege tiket kapal terbang pun ya ampun lah time time camni. Tu pasal lah juga kena buat booking 2 months before. Ag.oda & Book.ingdotcom asyik dok ancam dengan 'last room', 'limited rooms', 'fast selling', etc. Pandai they all.

Bila dok buat ni, terimbas pulak kenangan 2 anniversaries kami yang lepas-lepas. Year 2011 & 2012. Dari kesemua 731 days, Allah pilih hari ulangtahun perkahwinan kami untuk menguji kami dengan ujian yang aku kira berat juga. MasyaAllah. Selama 2 tahun, tarikh 11 Febuari aku sambut dengan cucuran air mata serta hati yang remuk redam. Terlalu berat rasanya ujian Allah waktu itu. Hari yang sepatutnya disambut dengan ceria dan bahagia bertukar menjadi peristiwa hitam yang tak akan terhapus dalam ingatan sampai bila-bila. Only Allah knows why He tabled those events on that particular day.

That is why, I am desprately want our anniversary in year 2013 to be a better one. Tak perlu lavish, tak perlu extra ordinary, tak perlu romantik ke jadah.... cukup lah hari itu menjadi hari yang damai buat kami.

Moga Allah perkenankan.

Ramadan & Syawal 2012

Ramadan itu paling bermakna.
Syawal itu paling istimewa.

Benar janji Allah.
Mengadu PadaNya.
Memohon PadaNya.
Insaf, tawaduk & tawakal.
Maka Insyaallah, diperkenankaNya.

Benar janji Allah.
DugaaNya dalam pelbagai bentuk.
Sabar, usaha dan redha.
Maka Insyaallah, nampak hikmahNya.

Ya Allah,
Ampuni lah kami.
Kuat lah hati kami.
Teguh kan lah cinta kami.
Lindungi lah kami.
Sembuhkan lah luka ini.

Allah Huakhbar.

AMIN.

This is for You

Sudah Tamat Kah?

Sudah terlalu lama tajuk "Hati Remuk" ini.
Negatif sekali.
Tak baik untuk jadi tajuk teratas.
Tapi, sudah tamatkan kisah "Hati Remuk"?
Walau pun itu yang ku pohon pada Yang Esa setiap kali.
Hakikatnya, tak mungkin aku akan mengetahui kesudahan kisah "Hati Remuk" ini
Bukan aku pelakon utamanya.

Walau ada janji, pernah janji dimungkiri.
Walau ada sumpah, pernah sumpah dibohongi.
Walau ada saksi, dia tak boleh lagi dipercayai.
Apa lagi sandaran yang ada?

Yang tinggal, cuma tarikh-tarikh peristiwa yang aku ingati.
Dan tarikh-tarikh itu pasti datang di tahun-tahun kemudian.
Mengores hatiku setiap kali menjelang.

Hai Hati.... pulih lah.

Hati Remuk

There are many happenings in my life for the past few months. I didn't blog about many things for past few months too. I thought I can do delayed-entries later. Simply because, I think it is important for me put records somewhere.

But, after some HUHA that happened in my life lately, I feel like closing this blog. Recently when I read my previous entries, aku rasa sebak giler. (I even crying while typing this). All these while, things that I wrote, were things that happened in FRONT of me. Rupa-rupanya there were things that happened BEHIND me. Should I get to know earlier, those entries surely will be different or may not even exist.

I am type of person who like to talk about things. If I can't talk, I'll write. Simpan-simpan tak berapa gemar. For sure I wish I can talk or write about what happened. But till now, I find it very difficult to do so. At one time, I feel like I should talk to someone, at another time, I feel like I better not. At one time, I feel like I should publish it here, another time my another self telling me "Don't you dare!" So here am I. Typing this pathetic-what-the-hell-pompuan-ni-is-talking-about entry, feeling stupid and sad all over.

Now I understand, why some people feel the need to close their blog, or at least start a new one.

I promise myself that I want to start fresh. I don't want to be sad anymore. I desperately want to be the-happy-Nomi again. Those things that happened has already happened. Nothing I can do about it now. I promise myself, I should concentrate on current and future issues. There are so much to do now anyway.

But...... Can I?

Can I just forget it? Can I just move on? What if it happens again? Do I just press the 'reset' button and start fresh?

I keep asking myself.... why?

WHY? WHY? WHY?

No one could answer me. Even the one who knows the answer, will not answer me. My heart bleeding.

Orang kata 'masa menyembuh luka'. Kalau begitu, biar lah masa ni cepat berlalu.

... and this entry is going nowwhere.

Mood

Takut nak update blog.

Takut lain yang nak dicerita,
Takut lain pulak yang tertera.

Lagi pun, apa yang patut dicerita,
Ber-arus sonsang dengan mood pencerita.

Al maklumlah, yang nak dicerita, cerita basi,
Tapi mood yang ada, tak kasi.

Tu lah...
Lain kali tak boleh delay delay posting kat blog ni,
Sekarang mood semua dah lari.

Korang datanglah lain kali,
Terima kasih daun keladi.

Ahli Baru

Presenting our new Bundle of Joy

A.meer N.azeem Bin N.orazman

5th April 2011, Tuesday, 12.50am

3.06kg

Belajar

Belajar Dari Pengalaman

Belajar Dari Kesalahan

Belajar Dari Pengamatan

.

Belajar Memberi

Belajar Menerima

Belajar Memaafkan

Belajar Bersabar

.

Mana Tahu, Satu Hari

Perlu Belajar

Melepaskan

Merelakan

Choices

There were some signs

I ignored them

I refused to believe

But I never forget them

Until they are too much to ignore

I have to accept

Things are happening

.

There are 3 choices

But they are not mine to make

So, please choose wisely

I. Beg. You

Please........

Pindah Rumah (Cerita Tahun Lepas)

Laaaaa….dah masuk February 2011 rupanya!

Memula dalam entry ni aku ingat nak cerita serba sedikit pasal things that happened in year 2010. Simply because I think it is important for me to have some records somewhere. But there are some problems.

1) I can’t remember ALL the things that happened.
2) When I start to type a story, ia jadi terlalu panjang. Dasar longwinded. Pastu tu rasa cam tak lengkap kalau tak taruk gambar sekali. Tapi kalau taruk, lagi lah panjangggggg !
3) Terus aku jadi cam tak larat nak type any entry pun.

Sooooo….. I have decided just to select few things that happened in my life in year 2010 and write about it se-longwinded yang aku mahu, dalam entry yang berasingan. Meaning, instead of one entry I will have to have few. Let just hope the momentum tak lari after an entry.

(Sekarang, cuba kira, berapaa banyak perkataan ENTRY yang dah aku type?)

Kita mulakan dengan cerita PINDAH RUMAH

Rumah yang sepatutnya siap November 2009, cuma di beri kunci middle February 2010. Itu pun bila ramai buyer dah kecoh-kecoh kacau developer. Aku pun ikut join online community forum untuk carik geng kasik pressure kat developer. Bila dah dapat kunci, aku hantar surat demand for late delivery penalty. Walau they all cuba mengelak bayar dengan alasan-alasan yang tak berapa nak masuk akal sampai berbulan, aku tak kira. Demand jugak. Akhirnya setelah 6 bulan dapat gak around RM2000. Boleh lah kan daripada tak dapat apa-apa.

Berbalik pada cerita pindah rumah, lepas dapat kunci terus saja we looked for contractor to do some basic works for the house. Sambil-sambil developer rectify defects, we did the ceiling, grille, demolished the original counter top in kitchen, re-positioned pipes in the kitchen, install kitchen cabinet and curtain. No major renovation. Duit tak cukup. Ada aku cerita kat sini.

Acara membasuh rumah

Acara menanam rumput

Aku ambik kesempatan tu mengemas apa yang patut dan membuang apa yang tak perlu kat rumah sewa. Tak sangka begitu banyak sampah yang aku simpan selama ni. Itu pun belum lagi dengan incidents ter-discover barang-barang yang aku sendiri pun tak ingat aku ada. Pasti tukang angkat sampah tu menyumpah-nyumpah tengok plastik sampah yang penuh se-lori tu.

Che Man’s and my family members came to help us. Nasib baik lah they all ni ada. Kalau tak, payah le kami hari tu. On the same day, MIL & SIL cooked and brought lunch after upacara doa selamat. Alhamdullillah. Tak payah aku masak.

Acara angkat barang masuk lori pun bermula....

Kena tunjuk lah barang yang bersepah-sepah. Baru real macam pindah rumah.

My sister made this. So yummy!

The next day, Che Man and I went back to the rented house to clean the house. Walaupun our landlord said tak perlulah basuh rumah, potong rumput bagai, tapi kami rasa tak syok tinggal kan begitu je. Dulu pun rumah kami juga. Ada sedikit sentimental di situ.

Membasuh rumah sewa dengan emosi & gaya sentimental

I enjoyed the unpacking and re arranging things at the new place for few days. Kebetulan sedang menghabiskan balance of last year annual leaves.

I thought things finally settled. But, one night after work, I realized the store room wall and floor were wet. There were rusty water marks on the wall. So we called the maintenance guy to check and they informed us about cracked roof and replaced them. After few days, we came back home and found the same thing happened again. Another maintenance guy came, checked and applied some kind of glue thingy on the roof. After few more days, the room flooded and this time was very bad and we kept calling the supervisor to follow-up on the matter. Finally after few complaints in the online community forum, few checks and repair jobs, the matter finally solved. Boleh solved pulak yek?

Water mark on the wall, from ceiling in our store room

Don’t have to worry about the house anymore, we thought. WRONG!

Aiman started behaving weirdly in the house. He said something about ‘takut’, ‘ hantu’, ‘ apa tu ibu?’, TV that switch on by itself, etc. It was really an experience for us. I wrote about it here and here.

Ini ceiling dalam master bedroom. Aiman claimed there was 'something' there.

(This photo taken by Aiman using my Hp)

"Aiman tatut......"
Aiman yang kejap-kejap tutup mata dengan tangan

Apapun kami happy that we finally moved into OUR place. Though it just a 3-bedroom, 2-bathroom single-storey terrace house, it symbolizes another level of commitments from Che Man and myself in our relationship as husband, wife and parents. Though we did nothing major with the house, with no new furniture, but at least it is complete with basic necessities for a small family house in a friendly neighborhood.

The house

The small laman. I have no flower plants. Just grass & green plants.

Living and dining area (before we put up some paintings onto the wall)

Same old furniture.

View from dining area, towards kitchen

Doors leading to 2nd, 3rd bedrooms and to dry area.

Kitchen

Aiman's bedroom is yet to be completed. Will be 2011 project.

Maafkan lah Ibu

Malam tadi aku tidur dengan perasaan yang amat bersalah. Bukan rasa bersalah sebab malas nak layan Che Man (walaupun sepatutnya kena rasa bersalah lah) tapi rasa amat bersalah pada si kecik Aiman.

Awal malam tu, keluar opis je dah dekat pukul 9.00malam. Terhegeh-hegeh cuba siapkan kerja yang patutnya aku dah siapkan lama dulu. Tak boleh siap jugak. Akhirnya, packed laptop & notes angkut bawak balik. Lepas dinner, baru lah ke rumah MIL untuk ambil Aiman. Macam biasalah, tak pernahnya sampai, ambil Aiman, terus balik. Mesti duduk duduk dulu borak sikit-sikit dengan MIL sambil belek-belek surat khabar.

Sampai rumah dah pukul dekat 11 malam. Resam ibu berkerja, letak beg terus saja buat kerja-kerja rumah pulak. Angkat kain dari ampaian, masukkan kain kotor dalam washing machine, sedia kan air panas untuk susu aiman, sediakan baju untuk kerja esok, kemas-kemas sinki, etc. Tengah aku kehulu kehilir dalam rumah tu, Aiman stopped me. Kat tangan dia ada daun terup. Daun terup ni aku simpan untuk aku main ‘speed’ dengan Che Man masa kita orang dok boring berdua masa belum ada Aiman dulu. Tah tang mana pulak si Aiman boleh jumpa.

Aiman : Ibu, camna ni bu? Jom main ni Bu. (sambil hulur daun terup)
Aku : Alah… ibu banyak kerja lah. Main sana….
Aiman : Ayah…. Jom tenok tartun (tengok kartun) ayah.
Che Man : Alah….. nantilah!

Terus saja aku ke bilik air untuk mandi pulak. Aku tengok Che Man dah nak tertidur kat sofa dengan seluar kerja dia.

Lepas mandi aku bukak laptop pulak. Panik sikit sebab kerja opis tak siap lagi, mata mengatuk, jam dah nak pukul 12 malam. Aiman sedang mengadap PC sambil tengok DVD Happy Feet. Muka bosan.

Terasa tenguk aku sakit. Rupa-rupanya kau tertidur depan laptop. Aiman pulak sedang menyusun daun terup atas lantai. PC dah tutup. Che Man masih belum bangun.

Aku sambung buat kerja. Half and hour after that, baru Che Man bangun mandi, tukarkan baju Aiman, buat susu dia dan bawa dia masuk tidur. After another half and hour, I went around the house checked pintu, tutup lampu. Ternampak aku daun terup yang Aiman susun atas lantai. Serta merta aku rasa sebak.

Aiman dah semakin berdikari sekarang. Semuanya sebab aku ngan Che man sangat kurang melayan dia on weekdays. Keluar kerja awal pagi, si Aiman belum bangun. Balik lepas 9 malam. Pas tu busy melayan kerja kerja rumah, kerja opis, TV atau melayan penat badan. Kalau Aiman tido awal kekadang terus tak jumpa sampai esok malam nya pulak! Sudahnya si Aiman pun dah pandai buat hal sendiri. Entah sejak bila dia pandai switch on PC and DVD sendiri, pas tu tutup balik tah. Aku pun tak terperasan sampai lah malam tadi.

Bila dia becakap, bertanya soalan, kami cuma menjawab, dengan "emmmm”…., “aaaa.....” , “ye la… ye la…”, dan kadang kadang “diam lah!” .

Dia dah 3 tahun 7 bulan. Aku tak pasti sampai tahap mana anak aku tuh. Pandai ke dia baca ABC sampai Z ? Pandai ke dia mengira 123 sampai 10? Lancar ke lagi dia doa makan? Masih mengaji ke dia dengan nenek? Makan apa dia hari tu? Kemana dia mengekor pakciknya hari ni? Berapa ketinggian dia sekarang? Berapa berat badan dia sekarang? What did he learn today? Lagu apa yang dia sedang nyanyi tu? Mana perginya kaler pensel / pensel / pembaris, buku tulis, etc dia? Gila lama dah tak nampak benda-benda tu sampai aku dah tak ingat. Agaknya dah lama lah dia tak menulis / melukis.

Aku takleh nak kata ni semua jadi sebab aku bekerja. Ramai para ibu yang lain berkerja juga tapi interaksi dengan anak-anak sangat bagus. Ini cuma aku yang mengambil mudah serta mengikut rasa malas.

Apa nak jadi dengan aku ni.

Aiman sayang….. maafkan lah ibu.

12 Weeks

Besides me, my sister in-law and my 2 cousins are pregnant about the same time. One is expected to deliver in February, another in March and another two (including me) in April 2011. Yang paling lewat mungkin aku lah. Tapi perut aku yang paling kedepan sekali. To the other 3, this is their first experience. So, they all jealous lah kan tengok perut mak yang buncit ni – sebab dah boleh pakai maternity blouse.

Ramai pulak yang terkejut bila aku kata aku cuma mengadung 2 bulan (masa raya hari tu). Ramai kata dah macam 4 bulan. Ada yang kata sebab this is second pregnancy, tu lah pasal nampak lebih besar. My cousin teased me about me being pregnant with twins. When my mother menyampuk and said it’s possible coz my grandfather was twins too – well melopong je dengar. Ni lah kali pertama dalam hidup kita orang selama 29 ke 33 tahun, kita orang dengar pasal datuk kita orang kembar! Apparently he had twin sister.

Ada pulak yang cakap kemungkinan aku diabetic, sebab tu perut besar. Macam-macam lah.

Sebab tu aku dok tertunggu-tunggu untuk sesi scan yang pertama minggu lepas. Aku just wanna to know whether or not this is normal. Tapi doctor pulak on emergency call. Tinggal doctor lelaki je. Dah la polici klinik ni, check-check maternity ni dia tak buat, terpaksa tunda. Few days after that, still takleh pergi sebab Che Man asyik tak sempat ambik aku from work. Tension aku menunggu hari scan.

We finally managed to do it on 4th October.

Alhamdullillah. I saw my baby dancing and kicking. For a 12 weeks plus baby (during the last check-up), apparently this one is a bit bigger like 13 weeks 6 days baby. But the doctor wants us to remain with the earlier expected due date which is 10th April 2011.

She cautioned me about my history of breech baby. Breech baby could be due to few factors. Common factors are i) Tulang pelvic sempit & ii) There was a problem during the first pregnancy which was not detected ie: I was diabetic. If the problem due to (i) then, most probably I will have to go through C-section again – which I don’t mind lah. But the thought about (ii) really scary. I googled to find out more on these issues. Some findings sungguh menakutkan. Check this website my dear friends.

.

Anyway, I am here already. I’m planning to really take care and enjoy this journey and do things in better ways as compared to my previous experience. Ye lah, masa tu 1st time. Excited je lebih, ilmu nya kurang.

Hoping for smooth pregnancy & delivery. May Allah be with me. Amin.

.

Salam little one.

Ibu loves you already!

Walau dah Basi, Mesti Kena Cerita

Raya this year kat Nilai, Negeri Sembilan.

Lansung tak dapat ambik gambar Aiman dengan songkok.

Masa beli tu beria. Pakainya 2 saat je.

Bukan main janji ngan mak nak balik kampung pepagi lepas sahur, sehari sebelum raya. Tapi nan-ado. Dah tengahari baru nampak muka. Malam tu sampai rumah lambat sangat. Sampai kul 2 pagi aku cuba habiskan packing (al-maklum packing macam 5 sekeluarga nak balik selama sebulan!). Jalan lansung tak jam. Tepat 1 jam, kami pun sampai. Dah tengahari. Rendang daging mak (yang sangat lazat) dan ketupat nasi dah pun masak. Rendang ayam pulak atas dapur. Tetiba mual aku hilang. Potong ketupat, cedok rendang, tarussss…….. hehehehe. Dah tak puasa, aku makan le tengahari. Jap pas tu adik-adik yang tak habis-habis shopping pun sampai umah.

Sejak dulu malam raya meriah juga dengan takbir dari rumah ke rumah. Orang kampung aku panggil acara ini ‘tokobir’. Tapi malam tu duk senyap je semua orang. Bila aku tanya mak cakap:

“Mak maleh do. Ponek. Kot korang adik beradik nak buek, buek lah”
Eh, takde makna lah kan kami nak buat kalau mak join. So malam tu dok godek-godek bunga, siap barang-barang untuk masak pagi esok, isi-isi kuih raya, kemas sikit-sikit dah le.

Raya ke-1

Kami yang perempuan-perempuan ni biasanya tak pergi sembahyang raya. Orang lelaki je pergi. Kita orang duk dapur siap apa patut. By the time they all balik memasing dah lawa and ready for breakfast. But my father and his grandson has gone to ziarah kubur. This was when my elder sister sort of ‘complained’ that abah did not ‘invite’ us to go with him. My brother in-law terus sound “Dah lebih sepuluh tahun, baru kali ni cakap pasal nak gi kubur?” Haaa…. Kan dah termalu sendiri.

The truth is, since so many years (more than 10 years, I think) menziarahi kubur di pagi raya was never in the agenda. Tak tau kenapa. Cuma abah akan pergi dengan cucu lelaki dia je tiap kali. Ada juga dulu-dulu dia ajak, tapi we all semua tak mau ikut. Naper tah. We all tunggu kat umah dengan tak sabar-sabar sebab nak breakfast together. So this year, lepas breakfast, sesi mohon maaf dah ambik gambar, Abah was surprised when we said he has to go again coz kita orang tak tau kubur sapa kat mana. Sadis tak?

Ada dua kawasan perkuburan. Abah jadi tour guide. Showed us kubur siapa kat mana, bila meninggal dan sebagainya. Apa relationship dia orang dengan kami serta beberapa orang lain yang dah meninggal dan yang masih ada lagi. Baru aku clear sikit pasal relationship yang bercabang-cabang tu. Lagi pun most of hem, kami tak sempat jumpa pun.

.

Sebab aku jakun sangat, aku sempat ambik gambar lagi. Ecehhh.

Balik dari kubur kami simpan balik *ehem* tudung *ehem* pas tu cepat-cepat kunci umah dah berjalan kaki ke rumah uwan. Ni yang best raya kat Nilai. Rumah sedara mara keliling umah je. Kami pakat jalan kaki je reramai dari satu rumah ke satu rumah. Everybody seems to be around this time of raya. Macam pakat-pakat je giliran beraya. Begitu lah dari pagi ke petang sampai ke malam. Tapi bila-bila nak balik rumah, lari je balik – rasa nak ambik barang ke, rasa nak tukar selipar ke, nak sembahyang ke, ada orang nak datang ke, nak ter berak ke, sebab bukan jauh sangat pun.

Raya ke-2
Pagi lepak kat rumah layan tetamu. Petang dan malam beraya rumah yang jauh-jauh sikit. Berkonvoi ngan sedara mara yang lain.

Raya ke-3
My FIL, MIL & BIL came. This time raya they all kena tinggal dek anak & menantu yang lain coz bukan giliran kami di sana. So they went around and visited their anak menantu & besan instead. Bagus plan camni kan?

Raya ke-4
Che Man and I went to visit saudara mara sebelah MIL in Shah Alam and KL. Keluar dari tengahari sampai malam. Aku ni usung camera ke hulu ke hilir, tapi terlupa lansung nak ambik gambar. By this time ipar-ipar aku semua berkumpul semula so ni consider beraya dengan they all lah ni. Tapi pas tu balik Nilai semula.

Raya ke-5
Pergi Melaka pulak. My MIL’s kampung. Beraya pulak dengan sedara mara kat sana. Siap makan ikan bakar kat Umbai lagi. They all decided to stay in Melaka but Che Man and I balik Nilai again.

Raya ke-6
Cadanganya dalam tengahari nak balik Klang. Nak kemas kemas barang-barang ngan kemas umah sekali, tapi dah petang baru sampai. Sampai je dah dekat Mahgrib, jiran sebelah dok tarik-tarik tangan suh singgah umah dia. Kita orang mintak datang lepas mahgrib coz Aiman sedang tido. So, malam tu dapat le kami jenguk rumah jiran sebelah. Raya yang pertama kat kawasan tu.

Raya ke-7
Miscommunication dengan Che Man pasal cuti raya, ntah camna aku boleh ter-start kerja pulak.

After that
We went to few open houses so far. Banyak invitations yang tak dapat nak dipenuhi coz on weekend Che Man busy with work and we had to attend some family events.

We are not going to host open house this year. Mak buyung tak larat nak masak untuk ramai-ramai orang. Tapi kalau ada saki baki open house rumah-rumah korang sila le jemput kami, sebab Che Man dah habis busy dah starting this weekend.

*sambil buat muka tak malu add ikon kelip-kelip mata budget kiut*

Cubaan Aiman untuk mengambil gambar sendiri.

Letak camera atas sofa, tekan shutter, cepat-cepat lari depan camera!

(Tak kuasa aku nak ajar dia guna timer. Cara camni lebih seronok untuk ditonton)

Summary Update eh?

Dear blog… kesian kau lama ber-update! Hehehe. Aku takde alasan. Tak le busy sangat. Cuma mungkin penyakit MAFALASFAS yang menyerang.

By the way, too many things happened & happening. I will just summarize them here.

Aiman Tatut
Things getting better with Aiman after we played the bacaan Quran in the house regularly. Pas tu bulan puasa pulak, lansung takde kesan yang tak diingini. Betul lah setan-setan ni kena tambat semua. Cuma sekarang ni, when we start taking this for granted (ingatkan dah orait 100%), Aiman has started to complain “tatutttttt….” Just few days ago dia dok tunjuk-tunjuk ceiling, mata terbuntang-buntang (like trying hard to see an object in the dim light). Masa tu aku sedikit panik. Dalam hati terpikir, “Nak kena rasuk ke anak aku ni?” Dah lah masa tu Che Man takde. Dalam masa panik tu sempat lagi aku pikir soklan untuk draft action plan:

.

“In case Aiman kena rasuk dek jin laknat malam ni”:
i) Berapa kuat aku kena menjerit untuk kejut kan jiran sebelah?
ii) Sapa yang aku kena telephone?
iii) Perlu ke aku siram air kat dia?
iv) Perlu aku lempang dia?
v) Ayat apa yang aku kena baca?
.

Tapi lepas tu aku goncang-goncang badan dia. When he looked at me, aku sedar dia tak kena rasuk pun. So aku slow talk dengan dia. Try to convince him that he will be ok. Nothing will disturb him. Semangat dia lebih kuat. Dia berani, bla bla bla. Finally Aiman nodded him head and agreed to try to sleep.

I must start to play the CD again.

Pregnancy
One day my boss told me that I looked different. He said I put on weight quite drastically as if I’m pregnant. I told him recently my appetite very good, but I’m not pregnant. He told me he suspects I’m pregnant and I might want to check that.

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Few days after that, Che Man told me he legs cramped so badly the night before. I remember thinking, “That is MY symptom during pregnancy”. Straight away I went to pharmacy and purchased pregnancy test kit. Yada yada yada….. positive!

Ada hari aku mabuk teruk, ada hari tak berapa teruk, ada hari yang ok je. Pelik sikit pregnancy kali ni. Tomorrow is going to be 3 months. But many people commented my tummy is so big for 3-month-pregnant tummy. Some suggested I’ve miss-calculated, some said kembar and some even said I’m diabetic! OMG! Tonight I’m going for 2nd check-up and first scan. Hopefully everything will be fine.

Ramadhan 2010
The first week of Ramadhan aku dok bersungguh-sungguh lah. Walaupun awal pregnancy tapi tenaga baik betul. Berangan nak puasa sebulan. Masa minggu kedua mabuk-mabuk dah start. Not able to eat (walau pun tak puasa), getting up for sahur teman Che Man, forced to reach office at 7.30am, the mual, the muntah, the smell of food from PARAM anf the smell of people around me really bothered me.

So no Ramdhan buffet at hotels for me this year. Only once at BlueWave while assisting a charity event. No point paying so much and not enjoying the food. No PARAM-hoping. In fact the only PARAM I went adalah di PKNS Shah Alam. Tu pun sebab paling dekat ngan tempat kerja. Nasib baik lah some dear friends invited me for iftar at their places or at some restaurants. Soal Terawih lagi lah sedih nya.

In different note, family gathering were often. This maybe nothing for you all. But I know these two persons on perang dingin since so many years. Berkat Ramadhan, they sat side by side for iftar. Hiba sungguh aku. Pas tu, maybe for the first time in my life, I saw them solat berjemaah. Allah Maha Besar. Moga perang dingin yang dah berpuluh tahun tu tamat.


Aidilfitri 2010
I feel a bit better mungkin sebab aku leh mengunyah sikit at anytime bagi melegakan rasa mual. I was hungry all the time so aku makan je walau pun makanan semua rasa tak sedap dan pas tu kekadang muntah balik. But I enjoy the festive mood, the happy faces, the family gatherings, the extended leaves, the raya activities, etc. etc. After that, I missed so many open houses coz Che Man had to work. Same is going to happen this weekend. Anyway, raya deserve a different blog entry, so wait lah yek.

Eh?
Tetiba blank.

Does My Son See 'Things'?

Susah nak menulis when my head is thinking in broken English & broken Malay secara serentak. Nasib le sesiapa yang baca ni.

My 3 and half-year-old son Aiman acted strangely after we moved-in to our new house. It was somewhere in April this year.

The first time, he woke me up early morning. I thought he wanted his milk but he had this strange look on his face. I wrote about it here.

Another time, it was around 1am (dia memang biasa tido lambat). I was changing his diaper at living room. Aiman dok mengeliat-mengeliat sambil ketawa making it difficult for me change his diaper.

Me : Aiman, duduk diam-diam. Nak tukar pampers ni.
Aiman : (sambil ketawa mengekek dan mengeliat-ngeliat). Ibu tengoklah dia ni…..
Me : Dia? Siapa?
Aiman : Dia tu….. (tunjuk kat something next to me). Hantu tu…..
Me : Ishk…. Mana ada ?
Aiman : Itu lah…. Tengok lah Hantu tu…. (tetiba ketawa-ketawa dan megeliat seperti orang kena geletek).

I didn’t think about it much. He must be kidding only.

But things getting weird from thereon.

At times, when we stopped our car at traffic light that the surrounding area is dark, he said : “Eh….. hantu lah….. tu.. tu… hantu!”. Most of the time both Che Man & I buat dek je. Kekadang kita orang suruh dia diam and behave himself.

Another time, when we were about to leave our hotel room for check-out (one hotel in PJ), Aiman stooped at the entrance, badan dia mengadap bilik yang kosong and said:
“Bye Bye….. salam? Salam la…. " (Sambil hulur tangan macam orang nak bersalaman).

One night, we were at kampung. Sleeping in a room. I woke-up coz Aiman tetiba menangis macam orang ketakutan. Tangannya menukup muka. “Aiman tatut (takut)….! Aiman tatut!”. Setelah dipujuk-pujuk baru dia diam. Tapi masih mahu tidur sambil menekup muka dengan tangan.

Sejak pada tu, selalu sahaja dia terjaga dan menangis waktu tidur saying the same thing. Kekadang Che Man yang pujuk, kekadang aku yang jaga. Satu pagi tu Che Man told me about Aiman terbangun dan menangis dan sebut takut-takut lagi. Kali ni according to Che Man, his eyes kept looking up at one point only. Somewhere between our ceiling fan and ceiling light. Che Man told me he got seram also.

The night, it was my turn. Aiman was on the bed, prepared to sleep. Tiba-tiba dia seperti orang terkejut. Badan seperti tersentak. Perlahan-lahan dia merangkak ke hujung katil sambil kepala mendongak keatas. Aku ingatkan dia dok perhati cicak. I also looked up and just that I realized he was looking at somewhere between the fan and light. Serta merta aku teringat cerita Che Man pagi tu.

Sejak tu, tiap kali buka pintu rumah, tengok ceiling. Buka pintu bilik, kami automatically dongak tengok ceiling. Giler tul lah!

The crying, the staring and tido sambil tutup muka went on almost on daily basis for almost 2 weeks. During this time, my mother in law and sister in law told me that Aiman asyik buat hal. Menangis tak tentu pasal. Pas tu at certain times didn’t allow anyone in the house to switch on TV. He will cream ‘tatutttttttt!!!!”. But both Che Man and I didn’t open our mouth about his crying and staring at home. We simply didn’t know what to say.

One day during lunch at office, my friends were talking about their children and their current progress. So, I told them about what was going with Aiman. They were surprised that I ‘kept’ this development too long. Some suggested that Aiman might be able to see ‘things’. Some things might be scary things. One story led to another and I found out another staff had a same problem but later solved when he played MP3 of surah-surah tertentu from his mobile phone given by his boss. He also called an ustaz to ‘clean’ his (new) house.

Only then I realized that this was serious matter. I downloaded the MP3 and started playing it at home. Only then we informed Che Man parents about it. They looked for us a CD and a book ‘Ayat-ayat Pembakar Jin’ and we played them. (I’ll update the actually title and the writer later). Another friend at work gave me a poster of ‘Surat Rasullullah’. The poster entitled “Pengusir Jin Dari Kediaman” which we hang onto a door inside the master bedroom.

Alhamdullillah. Since the first step, Aiman dah tak mengarut-mengarut lagi pasal ‘hantu’atau terjerit-jerit takut. I observed him walking into our room, suddenly stopped, look up and then looked lega. Maybe he doesn’t see it anymore. He is not scared of TV anymore. We changed the TV too…. Hahaahaha.

Belum habis lagi cerita ni.

One night, I had this port luck gathering cum housewarming party with some close friends. A couple, our neighbors who only come to stay at their house on weekend came to inform that one of my friend cars is blocking their entrance. So we invited them in for dinner sekali cum sesi berkenalan.

Cerita itu dan ini, tetiba uncle tu tanya Che Man whether or not “ada yang mengacau kat sini?” Selepas sedikit kekeliruan pasal maksud uncle tu, he told about some incidents. Pernah masa dia tengah sembahyang, dia terdengar wife dia menjerit ketakutan. Bila dia checked elok aje wife dia kat dapur buat kerja and she denied that she did scream. Another time, his son told him about a really big, really tall, really ugly creature he saw in their house.

Che Man and I think it is the same thing that scared Aiman all this while. Maybe the thing bukan duduk kat ceiling, tapi simply sangat tinggi, setinggi ceiling? Mungkin the thing dah pindah ke rumah dia pulak. Ye lah…. rumah sebelah tu kekadang je tuan rumah datang. Lagipun (dengan izinNya) makhluk tu dah terhalau dari rumah kita orang. Agaknya lah.

Tuhan sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui.

Aku terpikir nak buat entry ni, coz minggu lepas my SIL told me that Aiman suddenly informed her “Ibu… Ibu… (he calls her Ibu too), Aiman nampak Hantu hari tu tau…..”.

Korang jangan suh aku pindah rumah dah laaaaaa.

Dapat Dah

Ehem.... ehemmmm....

Korang nampak tak?

Nampak?

Pesal pulak tak nampak?

Aku tau lah tak sebesar mana pun......

.

.

Ni haaaa.......

Nampak?

Wakakakakaa

Tak sia-sia aku letak entry sebelum ni.

(Entry ala-jakun-orang-lain-dah-lama-dapat-aku-selalu-je-paling-lambat!)

..........

Apa-apa pun, saya sudahi entry ini dengan ucapan

terima kasih dan sayang buat Che Man,

serta terima lah wajah seorang heart breaker

ehem... ehem....

TV & I - We have Issues

Che Man bought me this TV before we even got engaged long time ago. Ini mungkin termasuk dalam usaha untuk mengurat aku pada masa tu. Tapi tak kisahlah kan. It was quite a big investment at that time considering his disposal income and our relationship status at that time. Anyway, we finally got married and the TV is the only one set we have in the house.

Sesapa yang ada dalam gambar ni, jangan marah.

Ni je lah gambar TV tu yang aku ada.

Tak reti pulak nak potong gambar ni.

I posted lama dulu about this weird story – when the TV changed channels by itself when no one around. Yup! That story. But that only happened once.

Last year, the TV start buat hal lagi. Kali ni dia on and off displayed ‘contrast’, ‘color’, etc and the tuning bar will run as if someone is doing tuning or something.

.

I was thinking, “Alamak…… TV ni dah rosak pulak!”.

It was so irritating. Bayangkan lah, kita dok syok tengok CSI tetiba keluar ‘contrast’ and the tuning bar pergi kiri kanan. Pas tu keluar tah apa-apa function lagi. Menyibuk pandangan je. But we stick with this TV coz there were other things which were more important to spend on other than to replace a bulky self-tuning TV.

Two months ago, we all pindah rumah. I noticed, the TV has no more problem. Suddenly terus elok je. Sampai ke hari ni. tak pernah functions tu keluar sendiri lagi. Bagus… selamat duit kami.

About 2 or 3 weeks after that we moved in, I woke-up at nearly 3.00am coz I think I heard my son called me softly. I think he did wake me up because when I opened my eyes, he was already sitting on the bed. I wanted to ask him to go back to sleep but then I heard something………
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
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Our TV was on!

TV ni kat living room. Kita orang dalam bilik tidur. Mungkin kah Si Aiman keluar dan buka TV? I doubt it. Pintu bilik masih berkunci dan aku tahu Aiman tak kan berani keluar bilik gelap-gelap begitu.


Betul ke bunyi TV? Siap letak tekup telinga kat dinding nak pasti kan yang aku dengar tu memang TV. Bunyinya macam suara mat saleh baca berita but I can’t catch the actual ‘news’. Pas tu aku pi dok mengedap bawah pintu bilik kot kot boleh nampak cahaya dari TV kat ruang tamu, but I saw nothing. Si Aiman pun duk menjalar depan pintu ikut aku mengedap.

Terpikir gak aku “Ntah ntah ada penyamun masuk, pas tu buka TV untuk tarik perhatian kami, so that we’ll open the room door!”. Takut gila aku memikirkan kemungkinan tu.

Pas tu si Aiman punya pandai, pergi selak langsir tingkap. Aku pun pergi jenguk jugak. Cuma nampak pintu pagar yang masih berkunci dan kereta kita orang. Takda apa-apa movement yang meragukan depan rumah. Belakang rumah tak tau la kan.

Aku tekup pulak telinga kat dinding kot-kot bunyi tu datang dari rumah sebelah kiri (rumah sebelah kanan masih tak berpenghuni). Rasanya tak. Takkan orang sebelah ni dengar berita kul 3.00 pagi kot ? Kalau ye pun, selama ni aku tak pernah dengar bunyi dari rumah tu. Nak dengar suara pun tidak, kecuali lah kat dapur bila pintu belakang kami sama-sama terbuka.

Bunyi TV masih ada lagi. Aku tak boleh kata bunyi lain. Memang betul-betul macam bunyi TV lah. Tapi takda bunyi tapak kaki ke hapa. Adalah dalam 10 minit aku tunggu.

Aku berkira-kira nak kejutkan Che Man tapi aku sendiri tak pasti dengan logiknya bunyi TV yang rasa-rasanya dari dalam rumah senditi. Later I decided to go back to sleep and hoped no penyamun in the house. Aiman made no fuss, join aku tido.

The next morning, nothing happened.

What is it with me and this TV?

Bang, bulan depan beli LCD (or LED or HD or Full HD) TV yek?

Tetiba.