There are many happenings in my life for the past few months. I didn't blog about many things for past few months too. I thought I can do delayed-entries later. Simply because, I think it is important for me put records somewhere.
But, after some HUHA that happened in my life lately, I feel like closing this blog. Recently when I read my previous entries, aku rasa sebak giler. (I even crying while typing this). All these while, things that I wrote, were things that happened in FRONT of me. Rupa-rupanya there were things that happened BEHIND me. Should I get to know earlier, those entries surely will be different or may not even exist.
I am type of person who like to talk about things. If I can't talk, I'll write. Simpan-simpan tak berapa gemar. For sure I wish I can talk or write about what happened. But till now, I find it very difficult to do so. At one time, I feel like I should talk to someone, at another time, I feel like I better not. At one time, I feel like I should publish it here, another time my another self telling me "Don't you dare!" So here am I. Typing this pathetic-what-the-hell-pompuan-ni-is-talking-about entry, feeling stupid and sad all over.
Now I understand, why some people feel the need to close their blog, or at least start a new one.
I promise myself that I want to start fresh. I don't want to be sad anymore. I desperately want to be the-happy-Nomi again. Those things that happened has already happened. Nothing I can do about it now. I promise myself, I should concentrate on current and future issues. There are so much to do now anyway.
But...... Can I?
Can I just forget it? Can I just move on? What if it happens again? Do I just press the 'reset' button and start fresh?
I keep asking myself.... why?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
No one could answer me. Even the one who knows the answer, will not answer me. My heart bleeding.
Orang kata 'masa menyembuh luka'. Kalau begitu, biar lah masa ni cepat berlalu.
... and this entry is going nowwhere.
