Still In Positive Mode (Still Worry)

Che Man & I spent one of our precious annual leaves yesterday and I am glad that we spent it wisely even though it is not (yet) a fruitful ones.

It started a bit late coz there was no need for us to hurry. We waited for Aiman to wake up but he was still sleeping when the time was up. No choice, I had to change his diaper when we was still sleeping and took him to my mother in law’s place. After Che Man briefed his mum a little bit on what we are up to, we left the house.

We headed to our favorite-for-breakfast restaurant and had delicious breakfast while reading newspapers. Both of us know that we need to relax before we start our ‘mission’.

Remember THIS entry? This is something related to that entry.

At 10.30am, my heart start to beat faster than it normally does. I am not sure about Che Man’s. We took our time driving to the first meeting place as planned.

The first meeting when on quite smoothly and I took notes on what to ask in other meetings based on what we have discussed there. Smooth yes, until we told her that we have one problem. A bit surprised at the revelation (coz we only told her at the end of the meeting), she made no promise that we will be successful (can’t blame her) but she promised to forward the matter as soon as possible.

Walk out of the building feeling a bit frustrated but still hopeful and in positive mode. We drove to the next meeting venue.

Although this one is a bit ‘over’ than expected but we are willing to accept it, coz we will be soooooo glad if they could accept the ‘problem-ed-us’-IF they accept. Things went on smoothly until at the end of discussion when we told them the truth. They said, they can’t promise but they will try. We shake hand, said thank you, pleaded for them to try their best and walked out of their office.

As we walked along the corridor, I can feel Che Man’s frustration, anger and sadness. To see Che Man walking like he has 2 heavy legs and his eyes staring at emptiness, made me feel like crying. I believe, if the person that put us into this trouble was in front of us, I am sure he will punch him hard.

Just two meetings and we already feelings a little bit negative. We decided to take a break by doing a little bit of shopping around the area and had lunch. We sorted some papers and I made a ‘to do list’ based on the previous two meetings. In order to halau the negative 'spirits', we discussed on what he have so far and lay out our afternoon plan instead of whine about what is happening to us. Perut pun dah kenyang, dah dapat beberapa barang kehendak hati, we left the building.

We went to another 2 meetings. Same. Even though the 3rd person we met is more positive than the other three, but I do not want to be too hopeful about it. All fours done and what we can do now is to complete some requirements and wait for the result - about a week.

We feel like we need to take another break and reward ourselves for completing these 4 meetings without any argument between us (Except for whether or not we should pay RM0.80 for the parking. The parking ticket dispenser out of order and Che Man refused to walk to another machine which is quite far, but I disagreed. I always think that we should just do what is required for us to do by law, so that we will not have any problem in the future. Law is something we cannot fight with, no matter what. I did ignore this law once and ended up paying RM100 to M*SA).

Anyway, with a little bit guilty feelings towards Aiman, we went to watch a movie. It has been more than 10 months since we watched movie at cinema, so what the heck la kan? Terrible choice. After the movie, both of us think that the movie was too stressful to be watched by already a stressful couple. We did quick groceries shopping, fetched Aiman and went home.

I am frustrated. Did I mention that already? Let just say, you are now into trouble coz someone you helped ended-up putting you into trouble, Wouldn’t you be frustrated?

Somehow, this problem affects our relationship. I cannot help it but feeling angry thinking, if he was to listen to my a-year-ago advice we would not have this problem now. Yes, I know, all the while he is worrying about it too but never verbally admits it and therefore, there was no room for discussion. His action was too slow and depending too much on other party. I think, as a main victim, he should be more proactive and firm. Until few days ago, when I was about to give up, suddenly he admitted (verbally) that he is very frustrated and angry about what is happening. Then he started working on things and we finally work things out together. He is more open in discussing the progress. I am no longer left wondering of his next course of action. I think he learnt his lesson and I am no longer angry with him. I understand the pressure he is into because this involve other delicate issues – nak jaga hati orang lain juga.

I am still hopeful. I will look at more options and work on them until all options exhausted. Who knows, the expected may come from the least-expected source? If we failed after all that, then I won't regret it - not so much. Mungkin ada hikmah disebalik semua ni.

Note:
If any of you knows what am I talking about, you may think this post is too much, too dramatic and exaggerating. Maybe. I am plain-long-winded-drama-queen type of woman. But I don’t care. This may not be a real problem to others but as far as I am concern, IT IS to me NOW. Suka hati aku la.