It Was Not Meant....

..... for others, I guess.....

I TYPED A BLOG POST.

So long. So emotional one. So personal. So well-composed (ceh.. wah..!), So controversial, so meaningful but..... weird: It was somehow DELETED. Must be my clumsy fingers!

But, this is not the first time things like this happened. I mean, my so-long-so-personal-so-controversial-so-meaningful letters / e-mails will suddenly disappear from my PC's screen before I could send them.

Of course I was frustrated at first, but later, pikir balik, maybe it is better not-sent. Agaknya, aku cuma boleh tulis untuk melepaskan perasaan and it was not meant for others to read. Mungkin kalau aku hantar, pastu org baca, mungkin I will hurt someone's feeling or caused some troubles or something. Paham tak?

Argh... I should not think -ve. Things happened for reasons.

Zombie

Korang pernah tak tido lebih kurang 1 jam in 24 hours ? Bagus.. skrang... pernah tak:-

- malam sebelum tu tido 3 jam?

- malam sebelum malam tu tido 4 jam?

- malam sebelum malam malam tu tido 3 jam?

- malam sebelum malam malam malam tu tido 3 jam?

- malam sebelum malam malam malam malam tu tido 4 jam?

- malam tadi tido 2 jam, bangun, tido lagi 2 jam, bangun?

- dan... pada setiap malam - malam yang tersebut di atas; esoknye gi kerja?

- dan.. bila esoknya gi kerja, kau kena kerja je.. takleh nak gi tido kat mane-mane?

AKU PERNAH.

So, after 168 hours, I only slept for 22 hours. That is 20 hours less than my normal hours. I am sleep deprived by 48%, coffee fuelled for 8 hours per day, migraine-self for 12 hours per day and penadol overdosed all the time.

How long this 'Zombie' mood will last?

Bestnye Mengular

Gile lama tak jumpa dia orang ni. Padahal sume pun keje kat Shah Alam je. Except for Sandra la. Tapi best la Sandra plan ad-hoc cam ni.

Sandra tak pernah gi SACC. Aku, ade lah 2 kali jejak. So cam Jakun la sket. (By the way... JAKUN tu nama bangsa ker? So Aku ni racist la heh?)

Anyway, Sandra and I were like:
"Mak oi... ade Bonia kat sini...."
"Fuh... ade Guess la..."
"Iskh... British India yek?"
"La.... Coffee Bean kat situ je..."

Tak gheti la mak nak citer. Tengok gambo ler.

Kumpulan Nasyid Al-Hijau.

Pakaian Al-Hijau dan kasut rama-rama Chief adalah di-sponsored oleh

'Kuwait Finance House (M) Bhd'.

Yang pakai merah jambu adalah anggota kumpulan Al-Hijau yang baru.

Iskh... yang dok sengih tengah-tengah, takde serkup, pakai t-shirt kedut seribu,

rambut crooked, tembam-tembam and lebar tu sape yek?

Thanks Sandra drove me dari / ke hotel.

Yang Pakai cermin mata RM1K tu KET WATgile yek?

Dengan mangkuk nasi kaki kayu pun, dia boleh bengang.

Girls.... it was simple, short but wonderful and hilarious gathering. Kita buat lagi yek? Post je announcement / iklan kat sini (thank you Amy - he... he...).

Syiok!

Where is my Coffee?

Originally, I wanted to post something else,

but I am physically and mentally weak.

Hence this post.

10.30pm

Baby cried. Changed his nappy.

Sapu minyakk angin.

Bagi susu.

Tried to tido kan him.

But he refused.

Main-main. Cried-cried.

11.45pm

Baby finally tido.

Pindahkan ke bilik. Letak kat katil dia.

12.00 midnight

Baby Bangun. Nangis.

Che Man got irritated.

Took the buai and cuba tido kan.

Baby kept crying.

Che Man dukung, letak, dukung, nyanyi, ngaji...

(Many-many times)

Main-main, cried-cried

Tak tido lagi

12.30am

Baby susu.

Main-main, cried-cried.

Tuam perut. Sapu minyak angin.

Ibu tertido.

1.00am

Ibu bangun. Baby tak tido lagi.

Che Man got angry with baby.

Ibu took over.

Main-main, cried-cried, dukung, letak

(many-many times)

Tak mao tido lagi.

2.30am

Bagi susu. Tukar nappy.

Check tempreature. Ok je...

Try tido kan. Baby tak mao.

Tanggal baju. Check badan.

Ok je...

3.30am

Switched-on TV. Ibu & baby watched CSI.

Cuba tido kan - tak mao.

Nagis-nangis. Ibu ignored.

Che Man bangun.

Scolded Ibu for ignoring the crying baby.

Che Man took over. Ibu try to sleep.

4.15am

Che Man came into the room.

Where is baby?

Che Man went out again.

A stroller pushed into the room

Baby inside - sleeping.

Parents, a Baby, An empty baby coat,

a STROLLER in the room?

Now, where is my COFFEE?

Argh??

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT

THIS BLOG ENTRY

IS LOADED WITH SUMPAH SERANAH AND BLUR STATEMENT.

Yesterday

Dia : Tak jadi gi J*ka*t*. Cancel la semua arrangement.

Aku : Ok.

Today

Dia : Semalam I suruh cancel arrangment, dah?

Aku : Dah. Semua skali.

Dia : Nampaknya kena arrange balik. Sebab mungkin I jadi pergi.

Aku : Argh???

Dia : Tapi yang ni pun TAK BERAPA confirm lagi. Tokyo belum hantar confirmation lagi.

Aku : Kita tunggu confirm dulu la baru arrange.

Dia : Tak pe, tak pe. You arrange je. MESTI book business class tau.

Aku : Ok la.

(After sometimes)

Aku : Business class tarak. Habeh. You I taruk kat list menunggu.

Dia : You letak I kat economy class pun takpe...

Aku : Argh???

Dia : Tak pe. Nanti kalau tak jadi, cancel jer...

Aku : Argh?

*****************************************************

Aku nak naik lift, nak gi bawah.

Lift A lepak 1 floor below, Lift B on the way down (slow motion) from 19th floor.

Since lift A lepak lama sangat, I called it (by pushing úp'button).

So it came.

Once inside the lift, I pushed 'down'.

Mangkuk berayun! Lift A shoot-up to 19th floor.

Door opened. Takde org pun! Then, (slow motion) turun bawah balik.

Bodo punye lift! Memain ngan aku yek?

*****************************************************

At 11.00am

"Ok all auditors. Please take your audit list and re-audit your areas. I want it after lunch!"

(kepala hotak kau!)

At 11.30am

"Oh! you on duty for customer service circle hari ni kan?. Please send your report after lunch"

(mangkuk hayun!)

***********************************************

Aku : Your meeting at *** confirmed. Tmrow at 10.30am.

Dia : Good. I really need to see all of them. Anyway, I see first today.

If I can see them today, I'll talk to them, so no need meeting tomorrow.

Aku : Argh?

*********************************************

A : Skrang you dalam committee yg mane?

Aku : 5S team leader, 5S steering committee, 5S Auditor, ISO Auditor, OHSAS Auditor, Customer Service Ambassador, MOD, Sports Club Committee, ICC Team...

A : Do you want...

Aku : Aha... letak la nama aku. Come on. Make my day!

(bloody a*sh*l*!)

***************************************************

"Nomi, tolong ambik ni"

(sambil hulur satu file yg tersangat tebal)

"Nak buat ape ni?"

"Sebelum audit, you tengok-tengok kan la, apa-apa yang patut nak dibuat"

(Muka Selamba)

"Argh?"

(Dalam hati : Hoi mangkuk! Ape kena mengena ngan aku?)

******************************************

"Nomi, tolong buat ni"

(sambil hulur beberapa helai kertas)

"Aik. Bukan aku dah buat the last round ker"

"Aha... tapi Mr. G tak datang. MC. You ganti lar..."

"Ala....."

(Dalam hati: Hoi mangkuk! Takde org lain ker? Apesal aku je?)

Orang Kahwin

On Monday morning,

it is normal to write about the weekend happenings heh?

(So, me; being mynormalself, will do just that!)

Wedding #1

07/07/07

Megat,

PKPS Building, Shah Alam

Beautiful

Megat is a younger brother of my husband's friend, Ijad.

Naturally, we become friends. When I first entered the hall,

I knew I will meet someone I know.

I saw Kak Noresh!

(standing in front of the wedding cake - thinking don't know what)

At first I was hesitate to say hi, because I know she does not know me at all.

Though we were from same uni (PPP),

we never talked to each other.

Now that I read her blog, I know she is

a friend of my friends, Zied, Amy, Aje, etc.

So I approached her, "Kak Noresh?"

She went, "A Ha..?"

What a small world. The groom is actually her cousin.

Well, Kak Noresh (if you read this), We will meet again.

Maybe during Ijad's wedding (God knows when!)

Wedding #2

07/07/07

Mohd Taufik & Siti Maria

Seksyen 7, Shah Alam

Calm

Maria & Taufik are both are my friends (gambar Taufik, takde).

We were late, due to Wedding #1.

Instead of lunch, we had good teh tarik and kuih muih.

Suasana makan umpama dalam taman.

Why there were many friends not invited?

Wedding #3

08/07/07

Dahlia Meru, Klang

Meriah

Dua pasang pengantin. Soooo, many people and friends.

They got married months ago, and now she is 2 months pregnant.

Take care girl.

Mittens No more

Aiman:

Look ibu... No more mittens!

My fingers are finally free.~

Ibu Aiman:

Yes sayang.

You are 4-month-year old boy already.

No need mittens.

Just promise me one thing now;

Do not scratch your cute checks ok?

Aiman:

Ok Ibu.

I just scratch yours.

I promise.

My Buddy

TODAY

is not the anniversary of anything,

not Friendship’ Day,

not her birthday and

NO….! the lady in questioned is very much alive.

It is just me;

feeling like writing about someone I call

a FRIEND.

I met her the first time when she walked into my office about 6 years ago, introduced by then, training manager. She looked at me with her cautious eyes and nervous smile. Since, her position was vacant for quite sometimes, she only had me to guide her on the job routine and what was expected from her, at least for the first few weeks, plus we were in the same department, doing more or less the same functions, only to serve different bosses – that made us quite close, fast. She used to call me KAWAN. Sound funny to me.

“Kawan, nak tanya sket…”
“Kawan, makan jom”
“Kawan, macam mana nak buat ni?”

Starting from colleague and lunch partner we evolved to tea-time partner to dinner partner. Both of us were having single life then - she had no boyfriend and I was in a long-distance relationship so we tried our best to spend the ‘emptiness’ by lepaking together with other new friends after office hours.

It was not so difficult though. She was the mastermind – the one who arranged for the venue, time and agenda. From two, become three, four, five and many people gathered at whenever, wherever and whatever she had arranged for us. Birthday, wedding, funeral, farewell, BBQ, picnic, games, movie, teh tarik, buka puasa, open house, shopping – you name it.

Work wise, I personally think that we were at our best when we were in the same team. Armed with same-detailed-confirmed information, same views and understandings, carried the same work-ethics and attitudes - we were strong together - no one dared to bully us at work (so I was told).

Personal wise, we kept our distance at acceptable level. We talked freely on subjects that we were comfortable with, avoided issues that we both knew that one of us did not want to share. We were actually had a quite different lifestyle and personality outside the office (confession: she was the good girl, I was the naughty one), but yet we talked about it, carried-on with our lifestyle. No judgement formulated. We just accept each other.

We told each other some secrets that we knew will remain secret (at least for few years - until they are no-longer-secret matter).

She was there when I cried my heart out for lost love, she was there to listen to my nonsense-clubbing thingy, she was there to support me with my ‘not-so-popular decision’, she was all the way with me.

I tried my best to be with her too. When she excitedly told me about an old-guy-on-the-block, about her frustration for misread behaviors of others that caused her pain, about the prospective greener path offered to her, whined about her long-single life and about so many other things (She has got an award: Queen of Whiners from ME institute of MYSELF)

Of course, we did have misunderstandings on so-called brilliant and insignificant issues. We talked about it, we gave explanations (somehow we felt responsible to justify our actions), we sought after understanding, we promised and we good.

So happened, we found our life partners at the same place; something that I believed due to her initiative at bringing as many people as she could in one of the many activities organized (or mostly forced) by her.

We exchanged and compared notes. Together we were excited about wedding preparations. Together we were excited about life after that. Together we were exited when we compared our bulging tummies. Together we were exited to do preparation to welcome the little ones. (We, anyway, easily get exited on many things, you see).

Now that we are no longer working together, we keep in-touch regularly. No more regular outings, but there are other matters that we passionate (to discuss) about, such as our babies.

CONGRATULATIONS! Welcome to motherhood my friend. A pair of children - your twin; will definitely bring you joys but busy life. Hang on there. May God give you the physical, emotional (and financial) strength that much needed.

I know we never said that we are BEST-est friends,

but both of us know we are GOOD friends.

(Kualiti Gambar Kurang Memuaskan - Harap Maaf)

Ahmad Akmal Dini

Siti Khadijah

The Proud Parents

(When) 'M' is too BIG, 'S' is too small

.... I hate.

wanted to buy some baju kurungs. Banyak sangat kenduri bulan ni. Baju kurung yang lain dah buruk dan kecik (ok.tipu.baju tak sempit. aku yang dah gemuk). As usual (due to perasan), I took 2 pasangs 'S'-sized to fitting rooms. Agak kecik. Tukar ngan 2 pasang 'M'-sized. Besar sangat la pulak! Camne ni? At first at thought, Ok la. Take la this 'S' - tak lame lagi kurus la ni. Pas tu, pikir balik... bile kurus tu? Ok la. Ambik 'M' la. Selesa sket. Dalam hati... nanti kalau kurus, membuang je baju ni. (I know.. I know.. he.. he..). Eventhough macam baju pinjam, I settled with 'M'. Nak tempah tak sempat. Menci!

I think this is the second time. The last time I remember when I was in standard six. Baju budak terlalu kecik, baju dewasa terlalu besar. (Dulu bukan macam sekarang. Dulu, kalau baju budak, memang nampak kebudak-budakkan. Sekarang baju budak semua macam org dewasa nye, except for the size). Kasut pun satu hal. Aku kena beli kasut dari adult nye department sebab kasut budak takde size. Bayangkan la rupa aku masa darjah 5 & 6 masa tu. Menci!

I think I should start the PROJECT KURUS (yg dah lama tertangguh tu) soon la. Menci la!

My other world

Sejak masuk kerja, tumpuan ku sangat baik & penuh. Baik pada mihun breakfast aku, merepair printer set-up, morning briefing with department heads, pas tu pada kek hari jadi safety manager aku (memula aku mual tengok kek yang atasnya ade CHICKEN floss - ya.. tetuan dan pepuan... ayam atas kek! Tah idea chef mane tah!). Tapi pas tu aku cuba gak atas prinsip 'jgn takut merasa'... pergh... best la pulak.!


Anyway, the whole pagi & petang pun very productive. Set this, set that. Called here, called there, detailing my boss's schedule, arranged this, arranged that, paid attention to tedious tender document, drafted this, confirmed that, formulated some policies & procedures, ugut few people from other department, etc.. etc.

SUDDENLY... my boss asked me to check my e-mail for some booking confirmation, so I ínter-touched (name of our broundband service provider). After I checked the e-mail, I checked some blogs and on and on and on... Where was I? What am I supposed to finish today? What else to prepare today? What am I supposed to do with this file? Who won this tender award & why? Blur... blur... I am lost! I became so lazy & blur automatically! I cannot comprehend the work-related notes or schedule anymore. I am lost in the cyberspace!

THAT is what happen everytime I log into the net. It's like kena tarik dalam dunia yang lain and I have a blur idea of my alam nyata (kerja yang berlambak). And it is VERY difficult for me to go back to alam nyata (to continue with my work) - until Che Man a.k.a Driver call & persuade me to leave the office (and my other world)

Oppss. my Driver is calling. GTG.

I'll check the alam nyata tomorrow la.