Tak Keruan

Untuk pertama kali – yes, for the first time, Aiman nangis sampai berjujai-jujai airmata pagi ni bila kami tinggal dia untuk pergi kerja. Selalunya, kami sama-sama hantar dia ke rumah mak sebelum pergi kerja. Tapi sebab hari ni pagi-pagi buta aku ada meeting, Che Man hantarkan aku ke opis dulu, Aiman duduk dalam car seat kat depan, aku kat belakang. Macam tu la biasanya kalau Che Man perlu hantar aku dulu.

Dah sampai opis, aku buka pintu kereta depan untuk kiss Aiman. Selalunya dia buat deeekkk jer sambil babai babai aku, but this time, upon realizing that I am not going to pick him up from his seat, he gave loud cries sampai kuar airmata. Berjurai-jurai airmata dia bila aku tutup balik pintu kereta sambil tangan dia mengapai-ngapai nak suh aku dukung.

Sebak hati aku tengok dia camtu.

Aku tahan saja perasaan, kuat kan semangat and berfikir yang positif saja. Padahal, hati aku tak keruan.

After the meeting, I called Che Man and asked him about Aiman. According to Che Man he cried from my office until when they reached his nenek’s house. Bila Che Man nak pi kerja lak, dia menagis lagi. Selalunya, paling teruk pun, dia merajuk jer – berpaling tak mao pandang kita orang when we sakat him by saying that we wanna go 'an' (jalan-jalan).

Later MIL told Che Man that Aiman is ok already. Hopefully dia baik-baik saja lah hari ni. Aku tak dapat elak dari berfikir perkara-perkara buruk yang mungkin berlaku pada dia hari ni. Nahuzubbillah!

I already got the confirmation on the surgery date – 3rd April. Aiman will have to fast for 6 hours before the operation. Ni yang susah. Aiman kuat minum and the time stipulated are not very convenient. I have to adjust his susu, makan and tido time from today onwards, so that he will not melalak kehausan, kelaparan dan buat perangai on that day.

I still owe him entries about his birthday party (2 weeks ago) and his visit to specialist (1 week ago).

Untuk Mengelakan Blog Berabuk

…… aku kena update la kan?

This entry is supposedly about Aiman’s birthday parties (yes… we had two birthday parties for him) but I don’t think I have enough time to blog about it now.

So…. later la.

Yesterday Che Man & I took annual leave. We brought Aiman to see a specialist / surgeon. Finally we decided to face the reality that Aiman is actually having a problem (or has potential?).

Bad news.

An operation is advised to be scheduled as soon as possible.

My poor baby.

I can’t imagine him on operation table, being cut with a sharp knife, needled & wired here and there.

* nak nangis…..*

One-Year-Old Baby with Blue-Black Forehead

Last night, at around 12 something, Che Man & I sang “Happy Birthday” song to Aiman. Aiman also took part by dancing away. My baby is 1 year old today. He is no more baby, but a toddler (Ye ker?).

Penat Che Man membuainya tidur malam tadi, but when he transferred him to bed, Aiman woke-up. It was already one-something in the morning and both of us were very sleepy already. In fact we have not had any good sleep since last week coz Aiman sleeps very late; 2am to 3am. Sleep-deprived parents last night tried to ignore Aiman but he had threatened to jump out of the bed few times. Afraid of the same incident like this one, I took him out of the room and put him into his buaian and buai him while sitting on the sofa. It was around 2.20am.

Suddenly I felt like the buaian is jerking hard and simultaneously I heard bunyi bedebuk.

I got-up in panic and found Aiman on the floor. Face down.

Aku beristighfar loudly in disbelieve. I picked him up and hugged him. He was crying very loud.

I inspected his hands and legs. They look normal. Aiman was still crying loudly.

I switched on the light. Only then I saw his forehead swollen. Not only swollen, it has scratches too! OMG!

I was really panic.

I shouted for Che Man who didn’t seem to be affected by the loud cries from Aiman. I had to slap his shoulder to wake him up. I told him about Aiman jatuh buaian and all he said was “Awak tertidur ke?”. Question that only made me angry.

Angry to myself coz tetidur. Angry to myself coz forgot to fasten the safety pin for the buaian.

I looked at the wall clock and realized, I only slept for few minutes. But in those crucial few minutes, I had caused Aiman pain and shocks.

I felt horrible.

While Aiman still crying I insisted to tuam his forehead. He finally dozed off. His body damp with sweats. Maybe because he cried so much. I took another 30 minutes to make sure the swollen area subside by continue tuam his head. After that I inspected his whole head and found there is another area but covered by his hairs. Now I remember he had fallen onto the buaian’s base. The square base made from steel where the screws in the middle part had left scratches on his head. My poor baby.

(I was tempted to snap photo of his swollen forehead, but I didn’t do it)

Before I went back to sleep, I asked forgiveness from him for my carelessness. I pray for the damage to stop there. Hopefully he has no other injury.

This morning, he woke up as usual; asking for milk and change of diaper. After finishing his 7oz of milk, he stood up and did his little dance to the birthday song I sang to him.

Happy 1st Birthday Aiman Nuruddin.

I am sorry that you will have to celebrate your special day with swollen and blue-black forehead.

I can’t wait to go home today. I’ll make it up to you baby.

On Parenting

This morning, I made a request to order Aiman's birthday cake through HR department. Instead of signing for 50% discount for 1 kg cake, HR staff (my lunch partner) allowed me to have 2 kg birthday cake with 50% discount (as per policy, we only can get 50% discount for 1kg cake). Yaaahoooo! I requested for cartoon character but can't decide on which character.

So my lunch partner asked, "What cartoon Aiman likes to watch?"

"Umur dia baru setahun la. Mana ada dia watch TV or shows preference on any cartoon or superhero character", I told her.

"Maybe you never gave him chance to have any....."

she tried to put some senses into my head.

This lunch partner of mine is an experienced mother, so I give a thought to what she just said. Maybe she is right. Whenever we watch TV, we only watch ur fav channels - nothing for babies or kids. I never tried encourage Aiman to watch TV what more baught him any DVD or CD, thinking it is still too early for him.

Am I doing the right thing? Should I encourage him to watch somekind of TV program or start buying CDs / DVDs for him to watch. Or is it still too early for that?

After I heard my lunch partner nagging about me being so clueless and nopt proactive, I proceeded to pastry kitchen to send my order. I told the pastry chef I want a cartoon character - any cartoon character yang dia sangat pandai buat.

"What cartoon he likes to watch?", asked the chef.

"He is only 1-year-old boy. I don't think he cares", aku cuba berdalih.

"But he will be delighted to see his fav character on his cake", he replied.

I am clueless.

I feel terrible.