Maafkan lah Ibu

Malam tadi aku tidur dengan perasaan yang amat bersalah. Bukan rasa bersalah sebab malas nak layan Che Man (walaupun sepatutnya kena rasa bersalah lah) tapi rasa amat bersalah pada si kecik Aiman.

Awal malam tu, keluar opis je dah dekat pukul 9.00malam. Terhegeh-hegeh cuba siapkan kerja yang patutnya aku dah siapkan lama dulu. Tak boleh siap jugak. Akhirnya, packed laptop & notes angkut bawak balik. Lepas dinner, baru lah ke rumah MIL untuk ambil Aiman. Macam biasalah, tak pernahnya sampai, ambil Aiman, terus balik. Mesti duduk duduk dulu borak sikit-sikit dengan MIL sambil belek-belek surat khabar.

Sampai rumah dah pukul dekat 11 malam. Resam ibu berkerja, letak beg terus saja buat kerja-kerja rumah pulak. Angkat kain dari ampaian, masukkan kain kotor dalam washing machine, sedia kan air panas untuk susu aiman, sediakan baju untuk kerja esok, kemas-kemas sinki, etc. Tengah aku kehulu kehilir dalam rumah tu, Aiman stopped me. Kat tangan dia ada daun terup. Daun terup ni aku simpan untuk aku main ‘speed’ dengan Che Man masa kita orang dok boring berdua masa belum ada Aiman dulu. Tah tang mana pulak si Aiman boleh jumpa.

Aiman : Ibu, camna ni bu? Jom main ni Bu. (sambil hulur daun terup)
Aku : Alah… ibu banyak kerja lah. Main sana….
Aiman : Ayah…. Jom tenok tartun (tengok kartun) ayah.
Che Man : Alah….. nantilah!

Terus saja aku ke bilik air untuk mandi pulak. Aku tengok Che Man dah nak tertidur kat sofa dengan seluar kerja dia.

Lepas mandi aku bukak laptop pulak. Panik sikit sebab kerja opis tak siap lagi, mata mengatuk, jam dah nak pukul 12 malam. Aiman sedang mengadap PC sambil tengok DVD Happy Feet. Muka bosan.

Terasa tenguk aku sakit. Rupa-rupanya kau tertidur depan laptop. Aiman pulak sedang menyusun daun terup atas lantai. PC dah tutup. Che Man masih belum bangun.

Aku sambung buat kerja. Half and hour after that, baru Che Man bangun mandi, tukarkan baju Aiman, buat susu dia dan bawa dia masuk tidur. After another half and hour, I went around the house checked pintu, tutup lampu. Ternampak aku daun terup yang Aiman susun atas lantai. Serta merta aku rasa sebak.

Aiman dah semakin berdikari sekarang. Semuanya sebab aku ngan Che man sangat kurang melayan dia on weekdays. Keluar kerja awal pagi, si Aiman belum bangun. Balik lepas 9 malam. Pas tu busy melayan kerja kerja rumah, kerja opis, TV atau melayan penat badan. Kalau Aiman tido awal kekadang terus tak jumpa sampai esok malam nya pulak! Sudahnya si Aiman pun dah pandai buat hal sendiri. Entah sejak bila dia pandai switch on PC and DVD sendiri, pas tu tutup balik tah. Aku pun tak terperasan sampai lah malam tadi.

Bila dia becakap, bertanya soalan, kami cuma menjawab, dengan "emmmm”…., “aaaa.....” , “ye la… ye la…”, dan kadang kadang “diam lah!” .

Dia dah 3 tahun 7 bulan. Aku tak pasti sampai tahap mana anak aku tuh. Pandai ke dia baca ABC sampai Z ? Pandai ke dia mengira 123 sampai 10? Lancar ke lagi dia doa makan? Masih mengaji ke dia dengan nenek? Makan apa dia hari tu? Kemana dia mengekor pakciknya hari ni? Berapa ketinggian dia sekarang? Berapa berat badan dia sekarang? What did he learn today? Lagu apa yang dia sedang nyanyi tu? Mana perginya kaler pensel / pensel / pembaris, buku tulis, etc dia? Gila lama dah tak nampak benda-benda tu sampai aku dah tak ingat. Agaknya dah lama lah dia tak menulis / melukis.

Aku takleh nak kata ni semua jadi sebab aku bekerja. Ramai para ibu yang lain berkerja juga tapi interaksi dengan anak-anak sangat bagus. Ini cuma aku yang mengambil mudah serta mengikut rasa malas.

Apa nak jadi dengan aku ni.

Aiman sayang….. maafkan lah ibu.

12 Weeks

Besides me, my sister in-law and my 2 cousins are pregnant about the same time. One is expected to deliver in February, another in March and another two (including me) in April 2011. Yang paling lewat mungkin aku lah. Tapi perut aku yang paling kedepan sekali. To the other 3, this is their first experience. So, they all jealous lah kan tengok perut mak yang buncit ni – sebab dah boleh pakai maternity blouse.

Ramai pulak yang terkejut bila aku kata aku cuma mengadung 2 bulan (masa raya hari tu). Ramai kata dah macam 4 bulan. Ada yang kata sebab this is second pregnancy, tu lah pasal nampak lebih besar. My cousin teased me about me being pregnant with twins. When my mother menyampuk and said it’s possible coz my grandfather was twins too – well melopong je dengar. Ni lah kali pertama dalam hidup kita orang selama 29 ke 33 tahun, kita orang dengar pasal datuk kita orang kembar! Apparently he had twin sister.

Ada pulak yang cakap kemungkinan aku diabetic, sebab tu perut besar. Macam-macam lah.

Sebab tu aku dok tertunggu-tunggu untuk sesi scan yang pertama minggu lepas. Aku just wanna to know whether or not this is normal. Tapi doctor pulak on emergency call. Tinggal doctor lelaki je. Dah la polici klinik ni, check-check maternity ni dia tak buat, terpaksa tunda. Few days after that, still takleh pergi sebab Che Man asyik tak sempat ambik aku from work. Tension aku menunggu hari scan.

We finally managed to do it on 4th October.

Alhamdullillah. I saw my baby dancing and kicking. For a 12 weeks plus baby (during the last check-up), apparently this one is a bit bigger like 13 weeks 6 days baby. But the doctor wants us to remain with the earlier expected due date which is 10th April 2011.

She cautioned me about my history of breech baby. Breech baby could be due to few factors. Common factors are i) Tulang pelvic sempit & ii) There was a problem during the first pregnancy which was not detected ie: I was diabetic. If the problem due to (i) then, most probably I will have to go through C-section again – which I don’t mind lah. But the thought about (ii) really scary. I googled to find out more on these issues. Some findings sungguh menakutkan. Check this website my dear friends.

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Anyway, I am here already. I’m planning to really take care and enjoy this journey and do things in better ways as compared to my previous experience. Ye lah, masa tu 1st time. Excited je lebih, ilmu nya kurang.

Hoping for smooth pregnancy & delivery. May Allah be with me. Amin.

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Salam little one.

Ibu loves you already!

Walau dah Basi, Mesti Kena Cerita

Raya this year kat Nilai, Negeri Sembilan.

Lansung tak dapat ambik gambar Aiman dengan songkok.

Masa beli tu beria. Pakainya 2 saat je.

Bukan main janji ngan mak nak balik kampung pepagi lepas sahur, sehari sebelum raya. Tapi nan-ado. Dah tengahari baru nampak muka. Malam tu sampai rumah lambat sangat. Sampai kul 2 pagi aku cuba habiskan packing (al-maklum packing macam 5 sekeluarga nak balik selama sebulan!). Jalan lansung tak jam. Tepat 1 jam, kami pun sampai. Dah tengahari. Rendang daging mak (yang sangat lazat) dan ketupat nasi dah pun masak. Rendang ayam pulak atas dapur. Tetiba mual aku hilang. Potong ketupat, cedok rendang, tarussss…….. hehehehe. Dah tak puasa, aku makan le tengahari. Jap pas tu adik-adik yang tak habis-habis shopping pun sampai umah.

Sejak dulu malam raya meriah juga dengan takbir dari rumah ke rumah. Orang kampung aku panggil acara ini ‘tokobir’. Tapi malam tu duk senyap je semua orang. Bila aku tanya mak cakap:

“Mak maleh do. Ponek. Kot korang adik beradik nak buek, buek lah”
Eh, takde makna lah kan kami nak buat kalau mak join. So malam tu dok godek-godek bunga, siap barang-barang untuk masak pagi esok, isi-isi kuih raya, kemas sikit-sikit dah le.

Raya ke-1

Kami yang perempuan-perempuan ni biasanya tak pergi sembahyang raya. Orang lelaki je pergi. Kita orang duk dapur siap apa patut. By the time they all balik memasing dah lawa and ready for breakfast. But my father and his grandson has gone to ziarah kubur. This was when my elder sister sort of ‘complained’ that abah did not ‘invite’ us to go with him. My brother in-law terus sound “Dah lebih sepuluh tahun, baru kali ni cakap pasal nak gi kubur?” Haaa…. Kan dah termalu sendiri.

The truth is, since so many years (more than 10 years, I think) menziarahi kubur di pagi raya was never in the agenda. Tak tau kenapa. Cuma abah akan pergi dengan cucu lelaki dia je tiap kali. Ada juga dulu-dulu dia ajak, tapi we all semua tak mau ikut. Naper tah. We all tunggu kat umah dengan tak sabar-sabar sebab nak breakfast together. So this year, lepas breakfast, sesi mohon maaf dah ambik gambar, Abah was surprised when we said he has to go again coz kita orang tak tau kubur sapa kat mana. Sadis tak?

Ada dua kawasan perkuburan. Abah jadi tour guide. Showed us kubur siapa kat mana, bila meninggal dan sebagainya. Apa relationship dia orang dengan kami serta beberapa orang lain yang dah meninggal dan yang masih ada lagi. Baru aku clear sikit pasal relationship yang bercabang-cabang tu. Lagi pun most of hem, kami tak sempat jumpa pun.

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Sebab aku jakun sangat, aku sempat ambik gambar lagi. Ecehhh.

Balik dari kubur kami simpan balik *ehem* tudung *ehem* pas tu cepat-cepat kunci umah dah berjalan kaki ke rumah uwan. Ni yang best raya kat Nilai. Rumah sedara mara keliling umah je. Kami pakat jalan kaki je reramai dari satu rumah ke satu rumah. Everybody seems to be around this time of raya. Macam pakat-pakat je giliran beraya. Begitu lah dari pagi ke petang sampai ke malam. Tapi bila-bila nak balik rumah, lari je balik – rasa nak ambik barang ke, rasa nak tukar selipar ke, nak sembahyang ke, ada orang nak datang ke, nak ter berak ke, sebab bukan jauh sangat pun.

Raya ke-2
Pagi lepak kat rumah layan tetamu. Petang dan malam beraya rumah yang jauh-jauh sikit. Berkonvoi ngan sedara mara yang lain.

Raya ke-3
My FIL, MIL & BIL came. This time raya they all kena tinggal dek anak & menantu yang lain coz bukan giliran kami di sana. So they went around and visited their anak menantu & besan instead. Bagus plan camni kan?

Raya ke-4
Che Man and I went to visit saudara mara sebelah MIL in Shah Alam and KL. Keluar dari tengahari sampai malam. Aku ni usung camera ke hulu ke hilir, tapi terlupa lansung nak ambik gambar. By this time ipar-ipar aku semua berkumpul semula so ni consider beraya dengan they all lah ni. Tapi pas tu balik Nilai semula.

Raya ke-5
Pergi Melaka pulak. My MIL’s kampung. Beraya pulak dengan sedara mara kat sana. Siap makan ikan bakar kat Umbai lagi. They all decided to stay in Melaka but Che Man and I balik Nilai again.

Raya ke-6
Cadanganya dalam tengahari nak balik Klang. Nak kemas kemas barang-barang ngan kemas umah sekali, tapi dah petang baru sampai. Sampai je dah dekat Mahgrib, jiran sebelah dok tarik-tarik tangan suh singgah umah dia. Kita orang mintak datang lepas mahgrib coz Aiman sedang tido. So, malam tu dapat le kami jenguk rumah jiran sebelah. Raya yang pertama kat kawasan tu.

Raya ke-7
Miscommunication dengan Che Man pasal cuti raya, ntah camna aku boleh ter-start kerja pulak.

After that
We went to few open houses so far. Banyak invitations yang tak dapat nak dipenuhi coz on weekend Che Man busy with work and we had to attend some family events.

We are not going to host open house this year. Mak buyung tak larat nak masak untuk ramai-ramai orang. Tapi kalau ada saki baki open house rumah-rumah korang sila le jemput kami, sebab Che Man dah habis busy dah starting this weekend.

*sambil buat muka tak malu add ikon kelip-kelip mata budget kiut*

Cubaan Aiman untuk mengambil gambar sendiri.

Letak camera atas sofa, tekan shutter, cepat-cepat lari depan camera!

(Tak kuasa aku nak ajar dia guna timer. Cara camni lebih seronok untuk ditonton)

Summary Update eh?

Dear blog… kesian kau lama ber-update! Hehehe. Aku takde alasan. Tak le busy sangat. Cuma mungkin penyakit MAFALASFAS yang menyerang.

By the way, too many things happened & happening. I will just summarize them here.

Aiman Tatut
Things getting better with Aiman after we played the bacaan Quran in the house regularly. Pas tu bulan puasa pulak, lansung takde kesan yang tak diingini. Betul lah setan-setan ni kena tambat semua. Cuma sekarang ni, when we start taking this for granted (ingatkan dah orait 100%), Aiman has started to complain “tatutttttt….” Just few days ago dia dok tunjuk-tunjuk ceiling, mata terbuntang-buntang (like trying hard to see an object in the dim light). Masa tu aku sedikit panik. Dalam hati terpikir, “Nak kena rasuk ke anak aku ni?” Dah lah masa tu Che Man takde. Dalam masa panik tu sempat lagi aku pikir soklan untuk draft action plan:

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“In case Aiman kena rasuk dek jin laknat malam ni”:
i) Berapa kuat aku kena menjerit untuk kejut kan jiran sebelah?
ii) Sapa yang aku kena telephone?
iii) Perlu ke aku siram air kat dia?
iv) Perlu aku lempang dia?
v) Ayat apa yang aku kena baca?
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Tapi lepas tu aku goncang-goncang badan dia. When he looked at me, aku sedar dia tak kena rasuk pun. So aku slow talk dengan dia. Try to convince him that he will be ok. Nothing will disturb him. Semangat dia lebih kuat. Dia berani, bla bla bla. Finally Aiman nodded him head and agreed to try to sleep.

I must start to play the CD again.

Pregnancy
One day my boss told me that I looked different. He said I put on weight quite drastically as if I’m pregnant. I told him recently my appetite very good, but I’m not pregnant. He told me he suspects I’m pregnant and I might want to check that.

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Few days after that, Che Man told me he legs cramped so badly the night before. I remember thinking, “That is MY symptom during pregnancy”. Straight away I went to pharmacy and purchased pregnancy test kit. Yada yada yada….. positive!

Ada hari aku mabuk teruk, ada hari tak berapa teruk, ada hari yang ok je. Pelik sikit pregnancy kali ni. Tomorrow is going to be 3 months. But many people commented my tummy is so big for 3-month-pregnant tummy. Some suggested I’ve miss-calculated, some said kembar and some even said I’m diabetic! OMG! Tonight I’m going for 2nd check-up and first scan. Hopefully everything will be fine.

Ramadhan 2010
The first week of Ramadhan aku dok bersungguh-sungguh lah. Walaupun awal pregnancy tapi tenaga baik betul. Berangan nak puasa sebulan. Masa minggu kedua mabuk-mabuk dah start. Not able to eat (walau pun tak puasa), getting up for sahur teman Che Man, forced to reach office at 7.30am, the mual, the muntah, the smell of food from PARAM anf the smell of people around me really bothered me.

So no Ramdhan buffet at hotels for me this year. Only once at BlueWave while assisting a charity event. No point paying so much and not enjoying the food. No PARAM-hoping. In fact the only PARAM I went adalah di PKNS Shah Alam. Tu pun sebab paling dekat ngan tempat kerja. Nasib baik lah some dear friends invited me for iftar at their places or at some restaurants. Soal Terawih lagi lah sedih nya.

In different note, family gathering were often. This maybe nothing for you all. But I know these two persons on perang dingin since so many years. Berkat Ramadhan, they sat side by side for iftar. Hiba sungguh aku. Pas tu, maybe for the first time in my life, I saw them solat berjemaah. Allah Maha Besar. Moga perang dingin yang dah berpuluh tahun tu tamat.


Aidilfitri 2010
I feel a bit better mungkin sebab aku leh mengunyah sikit at anytime bagi melegakan rasa mual. I was hungry all the time so aku makan je walau pun makanan semua rasa tak sedap dan pas tu kekadang muntah balik. But I enjoy the festive mood, the happy faces, the family gatherings, the extended leaves, the raya activities, etc. etc. After that, I missed so many open houses coz Che Man had to work. Same is going to happen this weekend. Anyway, raya deserve a different blog entry, so wait lah yek.

Eh?
Tetiba blank.

Does My Son See 'Things'?

Susah nak menulis when my head is thinking in broken English & broken Malay secara serentak. Nasib le sesiapa yang baca ni.

My 3 and half-year-old son Aiman acted strangely after we moved-in to our new house. It was somewhere in April this year.

The first time, he woke me up early morning. I thought he wanted his milk but he had this strange look on his face. I wrote about it here.

Another time, it was around 1am (dia memang biasa tido lambat). I was changing his diaper at living room. Aiman dok mengeliat-mengeliat sambil ketawa making it difficult for me change his diaper.

Me : Aiman, duduk diam-diam. Nak tukar pampers ni.
Aiman : (sambil ketawa mengekek dan mengeliat-ngeliat). Ibu tengoklah dia ni…..
Me : Dia? Siapa?
Aiman : Dia tu….. (tunjuk kat something next to me). Hantu tu…..
Me : Ishk…. Mana ada ?
Aiman : Itu lah…. Tengok lah Hantu tu…. (tetiba ketawa-ketawa dan megeliat seperti orang kena geletek).

I didn’t think about it much. He must be kidding only.

But things getting weird from thereon.

At times, when we stopped our car at traffic light that the surrounding area is dark, he said : “Eh….. hantu lah….. tu.. tu… hantu!”. Most of the time both Che Man & I buat dek je. Kekadang kita orang suruh dia diam and behave himself.

Another time, when we were about to leave our hotel room for check-out (one hotel in PJ), Aiman stooped at the entrance, badan dia mengadap bilik yang kosong and said:
“Bye Bye….. salam? Salam la…. " (Sambil hulur tangan macam orang nak bersalaman).

One night, we were at kampung. Sleeping in a room. I woke-up coz Aiman tetiba menangis macam orang ketakutan. Tangannya menukup muka. “Aiman tatut (takut)….! Aiman tatut!”. Setelah dipujuk-pujuk baru dia diam. Tapi masih mahu tidur sambil menekup muka dengan tangan.

Sejak pada tu, selalu sahaja dia terjaga dan menangis waktu tidur saying the same thing. Kekadang Che Man yang pujuk, kekadang aku yang jaga. Satu pagi tu Che Man told me about Aiman terbangun dan menangis dan sebut takut-takut lagi. Kali ni according to Che Man, his eyes kept looking up at one point only. Somewhere between our ceiling fan and ceiling light. Che Man told me he got seram also.

The night, it was my turn. Aiman was on the bed, prepared to sleep. Tiba-tiba dia seperti orang terkejut. Badan seperti tersentak. Perlahan-lahan dia merangkak ke hujung katil sambil kepala mendongak keatas. Aku ingatkan dia dok perhati cicak. I also looked up and just that I realized he was looking at somewhere between the fan and light. Serta merta aku teringat cerita Che Man pagi tu.

Sejak tu, tiap kali buka pintu rumah, tengok ceiling. Buka pintu bilik, kami automatically dongak tengok ceiling. Giler tul lah!

The crying, the staring and tido sambil tutup muka went on almost on daily basis for almost 2 weeks. During this time, my mother in law and sister in law told me that Aiman asyik buat hal. Menangis tak tentu pasal. Pas tu at certain times didn’t allow anyone in the house to switch on TV. He will cream ‘tatutttttttt!!!!”. But both Che Man and I didn’t open our mouth about his crying and staring at home. We simply didn’t know what to say.

One day during lunch at office, my friends were talking about their children and their current progress. So, I told them about what was going with Aiman. They were surprised that I ‘kept’ this development too long. Some suggested that Aiman might be able to see ‘things’. Some things might be scary things. One story led to another and I found out another staff had a same problem but later solved when he played MP3 of surah-surah tertentu from his mobile phone given by his boss. He also called an ustaz to ‘clean’ his (new) house.

Only then I realized that this was serious matter. I downloaded the MP3 and started playing it at home. Only then we informed Che Man parents about it. They looked for us a CD and a book ‘Ayat-ayat Pembakar Jin’ and we played them. (I’ll update the actually title and the writer later). Another friend at work gave me a poster of ‘Surat Rasullullah’. The poster entitled “Pengusir Jin Dari Kediaman” which we hang onto a door inside the master bedroom.

Alhamdullillah. Since the first step, Aiman dah tak mengarut-mengarut lagi pasal ‘hantu’atau terjerit-jerit takut. I observed him walking into our room, suddenly stopped, look up and then looked lega. Maybe he doesn’t see it anymore. He is not scared of TV anymore. We changed the TV too…. Hahaahaha.

Belum habis lagi cerita ni.

One night, I had this port luck gathering cum housewarming party with some close friends. A couple, our neighbors who only come to stay at their house on weekend came to inform that one of my friend cars is blocking their entrance. So we invited them in for dinner sekali cum sesi berkenalan.

Cerita itu dan ini, tetiba uncle tu tanya Che Man whether or not “ada yang mengacau kat sini?” Selepas sedikit kekeliruan pasal maksud uncle tu, he told about some incidents. Pernah masa dia tengah sembahyang, dia terdengar wife dia menjerit ketakutan. Bila dia checked elok aje wife dia kat dapur buat kerja and she denied that she did scream. Another time, his son told him about a really big, really tall, really ugly creature he saw in their house.

Che Man and I think it is the same thing that scared Aiman all this while. Maybe the thing bukan duduk kat ceiling, tapi simply sangat tinggi, setinggi ceiling? Mungkin the thing dah pindah ke rumah dia pulak. Ye lah…. rumah sebelah tu kekadang je tuan rumah datang. Lagipun (dengan izinNya) makhluk tu dah terhalau dari rumah kita orang. Agaknya lah.

Tuhan sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui.

Aku terpikir nak buat entry ni, coz minggu lepas my SIL told me that Aiman suddenly informed her “Ibu… Ibu… (he calls her Ibu too), Aiman nampak Hantu hari tu tau…..”.

Korang jangan suh aku pindah rumah dah laaaaaa.

Dapat Dah

Ehem.... ehemmmm....

Korang nampak tak?

Nampak?

Pesal pulak tak nampak?

Aku tau lah tak sebesar mana pun......

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Ni haaaa.......

Nampak?

Wakakakakaa

Tak sia-sia aku letak entry sebelum ni.

(Entry ala-jakun-orang-lain-dah-lama-dapat-aku-selalu-je-paling-lambat!)

..........

Apa-apa pun, saya sudahi entry ini dengan ucapan

terima kasih dan sayang buat Che Man,

serta terima lah wajah seorang heart breaker

ehem... ehem....

TV & I - We have Issues

Che Man bought me this TV before we even got engaged long time ago. Ini mungkin termasuk dalam usaha untuk mengurat aku pada masa tu. Tapi tak kisahlah kan. It was quite a big investment at that time considering his disposal income and our relationship status at that time. Anyway, we finally got married and the TV is the only one set we have in the house.

Sesapa yang ada dalam gambar ni, jangan marah.

Ni je lah gambar TV tu yang aku ada.

Tak reti pulak nak potong gambar ni.

I posted lama dulu about this weird story – when the TV changed channels by itself when no one around. Yup! That story. But that only happened once.

Last year, the TV start buat hal lagi. Kali ni dia on and off displayed ‘contrast’, ‘color’, etc and the tuning bar will run as if someone is doing tuning or something.

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I was thinking, “Alamak…… TV ni dah rosak pulak!”.

It was so irritating. Bayangkan lah, kita dok syok tengok CSI tetiba keluar ‘contrast’ and the tuning bar pergi kiri kanan. Pas tu keluar tah apa-apa function lagi. Menyibuk pandangan je. But we stick with this TV coz there were other things which were more important to spend on other than to replace a bulky self-tuning TV.

Two months ago, we all pindah rumah. I noticed, the TV has no more problem. Suddenly terus elok je. Sampai ke hari ni. tak pernah functions tu keluar sendiri lagi. Bagus… selamat duit kami.

About 2 or 3 weeks after that we moved in, I woke-up at nearly 3.00am coz I think I heard my son called me softly. I think he did wake me up because when I opened my eyes, he was already sitting on the bed. I wanted to ask him to go back to sleep but then I heard something………
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Our TV was on!

TV ni kat living room. Kita orang dalam bilik tidur. Mungkin kah Si Aiman keluar dan buka TV? I doubt it. Pintu bilik masih berkunci dan aku tahu Aiman tak kan berani keluar bilik gelap-gelap begitu.


Betul ke bunyi TV? Siap letak tekup telinga kat dinding nak pasti kan yang aku dengar tu memang TV. Bunyinya macam suara mat saleh baca berita but I can’t catch the actual ‘news’. Pas tu aku pi dok mengedap bawah pintu bilik kot kot boleh nampak cahaya dari TV kat ruang tamu, but I saw nothing. Si Aiman pun duk menjalar depan pintu ikut aku mengedap.

Terpikir gak aku “Ntah ntah ada penyamun masuk, pas tu buka TV untuk tarik perhatian kami, so that we’ll open the room door!”. Takut gila aku memikirkan kemungkinan tu.

Pas tu si Aiman punya pandai, pergi selak langsir tingkap. Aku pun pergi jenguk jugak. Cuma nampak pintu pagar yang masih berkunci dan kereta kita orang. Takda apa-apa movement yang meragukan depan rumah. Belakang rumah tak tau la kan.

Aku tekup pulak telinga kat dinding kot-kot bunyi tu datang dari rumah sebelah kiri (rumah sebelah kanan masih tak berpenghuni). Rasanya tak. Takkan orang sebelah ni dengar berita kul 3.00 pagi kot ? Kalau ye pun, selama ni aku tak pernah dengar bunyi dari rumah tu. Nak dengar suara pun tidak, kecuali lah kat dapur bila pintu belakang kami sama-sama terbuka.

Bunyi TV masih ada lagi. Aku tak boleh kata bunyi lain. Memang betul-betul macam bunyi TV lah. Tapi takda bunyi tapak kaki ke hapa. Adalah dalam 10 minit aku tunggu.

Aku berkira-kira nak kejutkan Che Man tapi aku sendiri tak pasti dengan logiknya bunyi TV yang rasa-rasanya dari dalam rumah senditi. Later I decided to go back to sleep and hoped no penyamun in the house. Aiman made no fuss, join aku tido.

The next morning, nothing happened.

What is it with me and this TV?

Bang, bulan depan beli LCD (or LED or HD or Full HD) TV yek?

Tetiba.

What is Happening?

I don't know lah........

Rumah

We were off from work yesterday. That’s explained why the happy status in the FB on 15th. (well, before that makhluk perosak status lah).

Went to our house and saw this.

Dinding car porch dah bertukar bentuk

Jiran aku buat renovation nampaknya. Walaupun sedikit sentap sebab they all sentuh wall kita tak bagitau, tapi tak kisah sangat lah. Dah siap nanti tu, cantik lah kot. Tapi aku tengok wall tu cracked. Dah tu simen dah keras berterabur habis kena tiles & ceiling. Bila Che Man tanya supervisor dia, bila nak cat wall belah kita org tu, dia jawab dengan kasar. “Lepas semua siap, kita orang cat lah!”. Cilakak betul. Orang tanya baik-baik, dia main kasar lak. Kalau ye pun takkan biarkkan simen berterabur kat belah lain sampai kering. Dah la takde courtesy, tak cermat pulak tu.

Actually, mamat tu bengang ngan kita orang sebab tak ambik khidmat dia. The day dia approached aku tu je cakap, “Kak… kita sesama Melayu, boleh bincang lah…..”. Kepantangan aku orang guna approach camtu.

Aku ada gak considered dia tu, tapi aku ter-jumpa beberapa komen yang tak baik pasal khidmat dia dalam community forum B.andar B.ukit R.aja. Jenis yang tabur janji macam-macam, quality kerja tak bagus, kerja lembab asyik nak kena follow-up je. Bila aku tengok wall yang merekah tu, aku syukur takde kena-mengena dengan dia. Pekerja dia, kerja waktu pagi je. Pas kul 1 petang, stop kerja, mandi, ampai kain bagai, pas tu tido sampai petang. Sekali tuan rumah datang, mengelupur.

Anyway…..

A tailor for curtain came as scheduled. She went and measured every window and I went “Eh…. We all tak order curtain untuk window ni la”. She answered me that she wants to keep a record, in case I change my mind later. Confident je minah tu. Cukup le. I didn’t give much attention on curtain or budget for curtain. I thought, whatever la…. Cannot be so expensive what..... Sekali ambik kau…… double the budget. Only after that I checked, my initial budget was a bit too low la. terpaksa la aku terima hakikat yg aku tak pandai buat budget.

Then, installers for kitchen cabinet came. These guys stopped & parked their lorry at the car porch, angkat tangan to acknowledge my presence, unloaded things and started doing their job. Setiap sorang ada kerja sendiri. Tak nampak pun they all borak-borak, hisap rokok, rehat. Kerja je..... tak bunyik-buyik.

Pelik gak aku. Tak ke dia orang nak confirm kan alamat rumah tu dulu, design atau apa-apa material yang dia orang bawa. The only thing they said, “Ada penyapu tak?” and “Sudah siap Kak”. It took them 4 hours to complete the installation.

Sebelum

Selepas

While all other things happening, Che Man was fixing lights & fans in the house. Nasib baik Che Man boleh buat. Mendengus-dengus gak le member tu dalam kepanasan. Suka hati. Janji siap. Kalau tak, nak kena upah orang pulak. Duit lagi. Only we unable to fix one light in the hall. The ceiling is a bit too high, tangga tak sampai. I think we have no choice but to pay someone else to do it for us. This weekend baru boleh settle kot.

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Laki sapa nih?

We brought a can of paint to paint the fence and gate. Kekonon nak sama kaler ngan our grille. Aku le yang patut cat tu. Aku cakap ngan Che Man, aku takut duduk luar sorang-sorang. Takut kena kidnap. The actual fact: it was so hot outside. Makcik tak sanggup. Elok-elok datang tadi brown light-light, kang balik glossy black lak.

It seems my both side neighbors are Malay families. Sempat jumpa yang sebelah kiri, rumah sedang renovate. Maybe masuk end of the year. Yang sebelah kanan pulak, tak sempat bertegur, nampak dia orang datang & pergi je. Tak lama lagi masuk rumah kot.

Tengah aku lepak ada satu mamat Chinese ni datang bagi flyer. Boleh tempah curtain katanya. Kalau nak, tang-tang tu jugak dia nak measure. Ayooooo…. Sampai macam ni sekali orang carik business sekarang. Tapi bagus gak strategy ni.

So sekarang, lampu tinggal sikit lagi. This weekend kena sambung pasang lampu, cat pagar, basuh rumah. On next Monday pasang curtain. Then boleh pindah sikit-sikit. Dah standby 2 quotes untuk lorry. This week kena tukar alamat surat-menyurat pulak.

Tuan rumah sekarang pun dah mintak buang kan ‘For Rent’ punya signage depan rumah. Terlalu ramai yang call katanya, sampai dia pening kepala. Cadang nya nak pindah 28hb ni walaupun landloard kata we all can keep the keys till 15hb.

Oh ya... Jangan di tanya bila house warming sebab duit tinggal RM65 je. Adehhhhh.....

My February... kind of...

Sebelum 2 followers aku blah, elok rasanya update blog ni.

Banyak yang nak rekodkan but so little time and energy. So, for my own record, I wanna summarize this entry into few topics.

Birthday & Wedding Anniversary
My birthday & Che Man’s birthday jatuh selang sehari on the first weekend of February. It went quietly except for many birthday wishes I received through FB. Thank you so much people. Tak dapat pun nak reply and say thank you satu-satu. But you know I love you all very the strong kan?

The whole Saturday on my birthday, Che Man had to work from morning to late night. Takde mood nak potong kek pun. Sampai sekarang tak redeem lagi voucher kek yang hotel bagi tu. So, I thought, cake-less ler we all. But, the next day balik kampung and my dear sister made us a very rich very yummy chocolate cake for tea time.

Both Che Man and I took day off to spend our day at spa and dating on our 4th anniversary in the 2nd week of February. Che Man who was skeptical on the spa thingy at last sangat menyesal kerana tak ikut my suggestion to have the 4-steps full body treatment instead of 1 hour couple massage. Tu laaaa… lenkali dengar gak cakap bini. Hal-hal macam ni lelaki mana tau, kan? We also went to movie, makan and shopped.

Muka gumbira dapat minum root bir dua gelas sekali

Aiman
I extended my leave after the anniversary celebration and took opportunity of Chinese New Year public holidays to stay home with Aiman. My aim was to train Aiman untuk pergi toilet everytime nak kencing and berak. Except for 2 incidents – one on the floor and another one on sofa, the few days training went well. Never in my life I felt so happy to see him terberak. Hahaha. Tapi amat-amat letih coz kejap-kejap nak kencing budak bertuah tu. I think Aiman felt the same coz my MIL told me that Aiman mengamuk-ngamuk nak pakai diaper later that week. Aduhai…. Dah beberapa hari ok, dia buat hal pulak tak nak continue. Came another weekend, I tried again but he refused to wear his pants without diaper. Seperti biasa, Aiman menang. Mendidih je darah aku tengok dia screaming, kicking, shouting. So pakaikan dia diaper and went to the zoo.

Ala.... takyah la gi toilet.... sini je lah....

New House
We finally received the house keys on 22nd. So we have about a month to arrange everything including to move into the new house. Must empty the rented house by last weekend of March.

After the handover from developer, straight away we confirmed some works with a contractor. Then we went and searched for kitchen cabinet and lights and fans. Well, actually not that fast la. We have done the surveys many times already. So that day was to confirm things la. It was very exciting and tiring activities.

So now the plaster ceiling is done, the hacking of the kitchen concrete slap done, kitchen plumbing relocated, grille done, lights and fans purchased, kitchen cabinet selected and measured. What left – to install the kitchen cabinet, fix lights & fans, paint the main gate, order curtain & blinders, clean the house, to source for 3 ton lorry untuk angkut barang, to purchase racks for store room, fix curtain & blinders, pack things up and move it! Move it!

Allo? Kenapa itu ceiling manyak tinggi?

Wa tarak rasa tu angin kipas pusing-pusing wa punya kepala atas

Rumah wa tarak aircond ma....

I also have put ‘FOR RENT’ signage in front of my rented house. I hope my nice landlord will receive fews calls on that. I have made claim for late delivery of property from the new house developer. The house was delivered about a month later than promised, but have not received any news yet. Yes, I’m kiasu like that, but I need the money to install aircond plak. Panas giler kan sekarang ni?

WORK
February was a short month. Rushing many things this month. Then, there was an annual dinner. Aku dah lama berazam dan dah lama berjaya tidak involve directly with annual dinner preparation. Bagi chance la kan kat budak-budak muda untuk buat semua ni. But this year, ntah macam mana termakan pujukan pulak terus jadi invitation and program manager. Invitation tu ok, but program ni sangat leceh. Nasib baik ramai yang volunteer tolong. But annual dinner deserve a different entry lah. So later with photo maybe.

Rokers Unite..... hahahaha

There are some changes in the organization structure. There some problems and issues that need urgent attention. There is refurbishment project coming. My boss is particularly busy running here and there to sort & solve things. I have no choice but to chase him *semput*

FAMILY
There are many issues that bothering me now. It seems, since last year satu-satu hal datang menjengah. Just to think about it makes my heart beats faster. Mostly about my younger sisters. You guys dah dewasa. I don’t want to keep talking about the same old stories. I don’t want to bagi nasihat itu dan ini as if I have a perfect life. But I love you all so much and I want you all to be happy. But I really hope you will do what you guys suppose to do. If you have to make life changing decision, pleaseeeeee discuss it with other family members with open heart and mind. The key word is : B.L.E.S.S.I.N.G.

My in-laws are busy now with wedding preparation for Che Man’s younger brother. I feel like I have not contributed anything meaningful in the process. Sibuk dengan hal & masalah sendiri je. I want to improve this situation. Kesian MIL & SIL, dapat menantu and in-law like me eh?

All in all, syukur pada Allah, I managed to stay alive & healthy till I am now 33 years old. My relationship with Che Man is stronger and happier. Aiman is growing fine, healthy, comel, bijak, entertaining and all that. We are going to experience new home and new place. I have made a list on how to improve my work performance and work attitude. Now, I felt fresh, motivated and excited about work all over again. I only hope some issues in my family resolve one by one.

Alhamdullillah.

Update

...... Blog will be updated within this week.

Acehceh....

4th Wedding Anniversary

On 11th February, actually.

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(Baru-baru ni aku tau, wedding cake sepatutnya warna pastel )

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Will not be in the office tomorrow.

Have breakfast, spa, lunch, movie and minum petang

appointments with Che Man.

Semoga kebahagian kami berpanjangan.

Insyaallah.

2010 Monthly Plan

Dah jauh kedalam tahun 2010 rupanya. Fulawei... aku baru nak lancar tulis 2009, dah masuk 2010. Azam tetap ada. Tapi seganlah nak detail-kan kat sini. Cuma untuk rujukan aku nanti-nanti, I want to list down my monthly plan for this year in brief.

Nothing so ambitious, just normal things.

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JANUARY

I am supposed to receive our new house key this month. Today is 26th January already. Even though the house seems to be ready but no news about VP yet. Ok. Got to start calculating the late delivery claim now. Siut betul lah.

FEBRUARY
My birthday, Che Man birthday and our 4th wedding anniversary. Earlier we planned to go somewhere for vacation, but have to scrap the idea, coz the budget will have to go to the new house (hopefully will receive the key this February). Good thing is, the both dates will be on weekend selang sehari. A simple cake blowing ceremony and birthday song from Aiman will do. However, have applied for leave to go dating on our anniversary.

MARCH

Hopefully, we will be busy with the new house. Not much that we want to do with the house. Maybe just the ceiling, lightings, curtains, kitchen cabinet and grill (Insyaallah). To do cleaning, packing, transferring, unpacking and cleaning some more. To repeat this cycle 10 times.

I doubt that we can celebrate Aiman’s birthday in the new house, but whatever it is, I’m gonna get him Thomas & Friends cake for his birthday on the 7th March. He is going to be 3 years old this year. To start potty-train him too.

The above plans are at good timing, since I have to clear my last year’s balance of annual leave before end of the month.

APRIL
First and second week will be busy with Che Man’s brother wedding preparation. Tambah biras. Yeay!

Aiman should be diaper-less latest in the mid of April.

My younger sister is talking about getting married this month. Sekarang dah nak masuk February. Takde news pun. Biar betul dia ni.

MAY

IF I were to receive any bonus, it should be paid latest this month. I can’t remember how I spent the previous bonuses. But this time around I’ve made some plans – more tangible ones. So please la got bonus around this time. Please la.

JUNE

Planning for a short vacation. Maybe with family, maybe with friends, or maybe just the three of us.

Instead of April, I think my sister will get married in June. Sungguh tak sabar aku.

JULY
God willing, I wish I could get pregnant with a second child. Amin.

AUGUST
Harap bertemu Ramadhan tahun ini.

SEPTEMBER

Bulan raya, bulan yang indah. Bertemu saudara mara, sahabat handai, ziarah- menziarahi, mohon maaf-memaafi, makan-makan, happy-happy. Must make sure to make use of the festive mode (and extended leaves) to the max.

OCTOBER

I can’t wait for this year’s October. I'll pay the last installments for 2 loans. That will be a big relief for me. So, I can do more saving after October. Did I say I can’t wait for this year’s October?

NOVEMBER
Again, short vacation will be nice. To go & do somewhere / something different than the one in June.

DECEMBER

December is always busy time at work. I hope I’ll survive.

Misi 3 Kilo - Part 2

I think I owe this blog something – The result of my 'MISI 3 KILO'.

Yup. The due date dah hampir sebulan lepas. Tapi tak cerita pulak.

You know why?

Sebab I tak excited.
I tak excited sebab resultnya tak bagus.
Naper result nya tak bagus?
Sebab efforts cam hampeh.

Dah. Dah. Jangan nak banyak alasan. Lurus pada titik (straight to the point).

Started in November. Supposed to loose 3 kg at the end of December 2009. I thought I was 50kg. Rerupanya I was 52.7kg. 'WAS' okeyyyy…. Makna sekarang tidak lagi. Jeng! jeng! jeng!

After half plate of rice for lunch, capati & milo kosong for dinner for 2 months, few sessions of exercises, I have lost ONLY 1kg!

Okeh. I lied about half plate of rice and capati. Not really every day & night. There were many times I took dissert, full plate of rice dengan segala macam lauk pauk, beberapa sesi BBQ and late night snacks.

But, lost of 1 kg made me fit into my ‘S’-sized skirts, even though not all S-sized skirts, but mak gumbira nok. Mungkin potongan these particular 'S'-sized skirts agak besar as compared to other 'S'-sized skirts, but ‘S’ mean SMALL. Yehaaaaaa!.

I still cannot fit into my old shirts and baby-t (masih terlalu jauh - not my target pun), but recently I bought one baju kurung Pahang in size 'XS'. Jurujual tu yang beriya kata XS better for me (and it fits). But, it’s baju kurung lah kan, baju kurung Pahang somemore yang usually memang potongannya besar daripada baju kuruing biasa. Takleh bangga sangat pasal ni (tapi nak tunjuk gambar gak tuh!)

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Eh! Gambar duduk bersanding lak.

(Ketembam-man pipi masih terserlah)

These few weeks, I neglected this mision. Maybe because the due date dah over. That’s not good. Will start again.

This time I will not eat less. I’ll eat better (and exercise more).

Nantikan…....!! (walaupun sebenarnya, nobody cares…muhahahaha)

Bedtime Stories - Dah Boleh Start ke?

Aku suka ke kedai buku. Paling suka tengok buku berderet-deret atas rak. Naper tah. Yang best juga kalau dapat menyelak magazine pasal artist-artis luar negara. Nak beli, tak mungkin lah. Harga bukan main. Tak lupa jugak aku suka tengok buku kanak-kanak.

Dah banyak kali, aku asyik berkira-kira nak belikan bedtime stories untuk Aiman. Aku belek buku tu dan buku ni, tapi masih tak beli-beli lagi. Banyak sangat yang aku pikir.

Paham ke Aiman kalau aku bacakan dia cerita ni?
Dia masih terlalu muda untuk bedtime stories.
Nanti bosan pulak dia sebab tak paham.
Kebanyakkan buku pulak dalam bahasa Inggeris.
Tapi buku bahasa Melayu pun, belum tentu dia paham.
Bila kalanya aku nak baca untuk dia.
Mamat ni tidur lambat benar.
Aku yang selalu tido dulu pada dia.
Habis camno ?

Balik-balik aku akan letak balik buku-buku tu kat rak. Kembali menyelak-nyelak magazine cerita artist luar negara. Tak pun membelai-belai best selling novels yang aku cuma boleh beli kalau ada 40% off.

Malam tadi, aku tengok si Aiman membelek ‘Health’ Magazine gambar joga instructor atas katil. Bukan Yoga instructor tu atas katil. Anak aku tengah membelek magazine tu atas katil. Kelakar pulak aku tengok dia menyelak-nyelak majalah tu macam paham benar dia.

Jam dah pukul 12.30pagi. Terus aku padamkan lampu. Jam-jam tu jugak aku rasa bersalah pasal padam lampu tu. Aiman menoleh and looked irritated pasal dah gelap. Dia baring, magazine tak lepas. Masih membelek. Aku pujuk dia lepaskan magazine tu tapi dia tak mahu. Seronok agaknya tengok gambar-gambar perempuan cantik dalam tu.

“Aiman nak taca butu ni lah....”.

Entah pukul berapa la dia tido.

Patut ke aku start bedtime stories session dengan dia. Tak kisah lah dia paham ke tak. Tak cuba mana kita tahu response dia kan?

He is going to be 3 years old this March. Korang start bedtime stories session dengan anak-anak korang bila?